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Post by Rai Chiller on Jun 8, 2013 0:41:04 GMT -6
You wake up to see an old guy in a lab jacket standing underneath a spotlight. As you turn to run away from the rapist his voice booms throughout the apparently massive room you are standing in:
"Welcome to the world of zombies! Are you a boy or a girl? I can't tell."
A. Boy
B. Girl
C. Transvestite
D. Veta (lol same thing as C amirite or amirite)
E. Unknown
F. Whatever you want me to be, baby.
G. God dammit this is a terrible opening just get to the fucking zombies you asshole Merchant
H. Suddenly a wild wailord appears!
I. Punch Professor Oak in the balls
J. WHAT A HORRIBLE NIGHT TO HAVE A CURSE
K. Kill yourself. Just end everything right here.
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Post by Slayer_22 on Jun 8, 2013 3:16:40 GMT -6
j, f, g, and e. in that order.
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Post by Veta on Jun 8, 2013 8:22:04 GMT -6
J, I, and D, totes.
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Post by Gabe Bar on Jun 8, 2013 12:07:14 GMT -6
J.
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Post by Rai Chiller on Jun 9, 2013 10:13:10 GMT -6
"What." Professor Oak is confused and startled as the music suddenly changes and the screen grows darker. "Uh, anyway... ARE YOU A BOY OR A GIRL" "Whatever you want me to be, baby." You reply, seductively licking your lips and grabbing your genderless loins. "You must be a Veta then." "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY" You screech as you punch professor Oak in the pokeballs. He falls over on the ground writhing in pain. "...Erm, what I mean to say was your gender is unknown, you fucking DIPSHIT." Professor Oak gets up and brushes his coat. "Alright you assfuck Merchant, where the hell are the zombies. WHURZTHEZAWMBEIS" The genderless unknown Veta shakes his fist at the heavens. Suddenly, a second spotlight graces you with its presence. A warm glow fills your belly, and the smell of cookies wafts through the air. A moment later, an absolutely gorgeous fanfare of cornets pierces the still air of the abandoned warehouse that Professor Oak is keeping you in, and then the most divine voice in this entire CYOA blesses your earholes: "THERE WILL BE FUCKING ZOMBIES WHEN I SAY THERE WILL BE FUCKING ZOMBIES. JESUS GODDAMN SON OF A BITCH CHRIST. KEEP YOUR G-STRING ON, FAGGOT" And just as gracefully as it appeared, the heavenly spotlight dissipates into the air like such a magical plot device spotlight would. You feel terrible about yourself for bothering the Merchant, and decide not to do that ever again. A. Ask Professor Oak where the zombies are B. Rob Professor Oak and take his kickass professor coat. C. Leave the building and explore the exciting world of pokemon/zombies D. It's dangerous to go outside in the night, especially when you have a curse. I'd stay inside until morning. H. SUDDENLY A FUCKING WILD WAILORD APPEARS, DAMMIT G. Try to get a starter pokemon PARTY STATS:Current party: Unknown Veta
LVL 1 UNKNOWN VETA Vital signs: STEADY Swag levels: MINIMAL Mana: 0/69 Exp: 0
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Post by Slayer_22 on Jun 9, 2013 10:18:17 GMT -6
a then b then c but decide d then h so decide g.
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Post by Gabe Bar on Jun 9, 2013 13:06:48 GMT -6
B and G.
Spoiler. The G stands for Dat Ass Goblin.
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Post by Roger Stone on Jun 10, 2013 13:41:35 GMT -6
I refuse to take part in these Shenanigans.
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Post by Veta on Jun 11, 2013 0:37:20 GMT -6
B aand G and Z.
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Post by Rai Chiller on Jun 12, 2013 13:07:22 GMT -6
"Now that we know your gender, or lack thereof, you can finally choose a starter pok-" "Hold on Professor, I think I hear something." "What's that?" "It's the sound of YOU GIVING ME YOUR FUCKING COAT" "Just a terrible way to segue into a mugging. Just terrible." Professor Oak grimaces as he removes his coat to reveal that he's wearing nothing but a mankini underneath, and his coat smells like terrible old people sex. You gag a little as you put it on. "Would you like to pick a starter now, you bitch?" Oak furrows his brow as he says this, realizing that now he would have to rape and murder Professor Elm to get a new coat. "Yeah sure." Professor Oak motions for you to follow him into another room of the warehouse. This one is much smaller, and more creepily white, like a pokemon laboratory. Blue lights and random Asian scientists are randomly placed throughout the lab. "Now pick one you bitch, and be sure to leave the stronger one for your rival to fuck you with later." A. A Skulmet named Boner, Rival would pick the Zaimardon B. A Belzades named Clover, rival would pick the Blazmare C. A Zaimardon named Magikarp, rival would pick Belzades D. A Blazmare named Buttercup, rival would pick Skulmet Also you can name the rival's pokemon if you want. I don't care. PARTY STATS:Current party: Unknown Veta
LVL 1 UNKNOWN VETA Vital signs: STEADY Swag levels: MINIMAL Mana: 0/69 Exp: 0 Items: Professor Oak's coat
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Post by Slayer_22 on Jun 12, 2013 14:01:59 GMT -6
i have a good feeling about c.
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Zomby Wulf
Experienced Survivor
I Only Do *Redacted*
Posts: 145
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Post by Zomby Wulf on Jun 13, 2013 2:23:55 GMT -6
B.
Just because I want the Blazmare's name to be Twilight Sparkle.
Gabe, Black Me Up.
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Post by Gabe Bar on Jun 13, 2013 12:11:44 GMT -6
Okay. B.
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Post by Veta on Jun 13, 2013 21:02:27 GMT -6
I say D, but fuck Gabe.
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Post by AceTheMercenary on Jun 17, 2013 14:16:38 GMT -6
C.
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Post by Rie (CSF) on Jun 17, 2013 15:04:13 GMT -6
C, I sai.
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Post by Gabe Bar on Jun 18, 2013 9:43:10 GMT -6
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