Post by Basil on Dec 25, 2009 18:00:11 GMT -6
![](http://emochicks.info/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/fat-emo-kids.jpg)
These two respectable individuals are also avid fans of Twilight, and enjoy writing poetry about Edward Cullen's sex life.
The internet has had a tremendous impact on society. One aspect of this impact is the huge spate of amateur writing that plagues practically every literary, musical or cinematographic franchise like some particularly unpleasant form of leprosy...in other words, fan fiction.
![](http://pix.motivatedphotos.com/2008/11/17/633625288509619040-fag.jpg)
Your average rad fanfic writer.[/i]
Before the internet became available to the general public, budding young writers were limited to venting their creative explosions at school or at home under the well-known form of crappy poetry or prose...nobody knows if fan fiction actually existed back then, but it is quite probable that a few fat, leprous Trekkies or Star Wars junkies wrote horrendous pieces of shit involving Princess Leia doing disgusting things with Chewbaaca or Picard raping his crew while Scottie looked on with an ugly grin...this was of course before the age of the Interwebz.
![](http://rofl.wheresthebeef.co.uk/Emo%20Kid%2001.jpg)
Yes, we all understand your anger towards society's oppressive mass consumerism and crypto-totalitarian conformism...and your love for Hot Topic.
The interwebz gave millions of lonely, bored and probably mentally ill males and females of the human race the opportunity to vomit their cancerous creative urges into its virtual chasm of websites. It was only a matter of time before such creatures found each other and assembled into rabid communities of "misunderstood" writers typing the little known adventures of Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and their mummified Martian foes.
Since most teenagers nowadays seem to be practically illiterate, brain dead morons, fan fiction will only be diverse on the outside...if you dig deeper you will find several common characteristics, which can be given as guidelines to any young aspiring literary rapists with a hard-on for anime or some other stuff like that.
Here they are:
-Poor literacy is kewl and edgy: poor writing isn't a drawback or a motive for savage murder! It is a perfectly valid way of escaping teh evil rulez of grammar and spelling and being truly free.
-Abundant swearing is a sign of erudition! Do not be fooled by the evil ways of your elders...swearing is actually an excellent vehicle for your literary talent! Plus it can replace coherent dialogue when you're too lazy or your
Example: Hermione "Snape is obviously an evil motherfucking fucker of a shitting bastard."
-Pop culture references are a must! If you enjoy Linkin' Park's incredibly controversial lyrics or Fallout Boy's deeply existential musical reflexions, you must include them in your
-Include social/emotional angst like in that MCR song about slitting wrists and things. Social commentary is always good, like in that book by George Orwell...was it 1984? Meh, you didn't read through it entirely because it was tl;dr. And yes, NIN inspired angst is superior to anything old Aldous Huxley could come up with.
-Describe your character's garments in great detail, nothing is more rad and cool and edgy than describing Vampyra McStreetdawg put on her fish net stockings, edgy combat boots and bling bling jewelry thus proving her membership of the controversial, crazy, non-conformist Neo-Goth Baroque Hip Hop movement. Characters who are evil should always be fashionless dorks or members of some other enemy fashion caste.
-Who needs boring old character development? Just have the good guys be perfect and the bad guys be total losers. If you want to expound the virtues of your fashion caste, have all characters belonging to your
And that's about it, dear readers! Enjoy your