Post by Basil on Dec 27, 2009 9:35:53 GMT -6
Today we will review a flash vid called "The Decline Of Video Gaming": www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/158631
After watching the horrendous mess that was Dead Rain pt 2, one might feel a little blasé about horrid flash movies...but the "Decline" turns that feeling on its head with its sheer awfulness.
The guy who made this video, note the euthanasia worthy look he has.[/i]
The vid starts out with some exposition, all narrated in a charming pseudo-husky voice, the kind a teenager whose voice hasn't dropped yet would make to impress people. The exposition goes on and on in that terrible voice about how video games "were better at the beginning bawwww" and this and that. Whoever made this vid obviously never experimented the horror of playing one of the old Atari consoles (and its infamous porn games...then again, maybe he did, and he faps to them regularly).
Oh! The beauty of the original video game! Bask in the beauty of pixels as big as cars![/b]
After this annoying exposition is over, we are teleported into 2050 AD and are finally treated to some real animation...much better animation than in Dead Rain. We see our main protagonist, all sexeh and edgy for the ladies in his black T-shirt and long hair (the guy is probably a fat fucker who will die crushed under his body mass like a beached whale).
He makes his way to a video game store called "EB Games", which reveals he is from Australia or New Zealand...too far away for us to murder him...then again maybe EB Games is also in the UK (prepares rusty axe for fat nerd extermination).
He stops as the automatic doors opens and looks furtively around him...some Sci-Fi dystopian action? No, he is just holding the door for his friends, who are probably fat fuckers too...in fact, the whole "going down to EB Games" is probably entirely made up since that would entail walking, and these bastards are probably so overweight they'd be unable to walk 3 metres without having a heart attack. Maybe they have specially trained dogs they send out to the shop to get their games for them...
What this video consists of.[/b]
They then proceed to stroll around the store, looking at famous video game franchises like Tomb Raider, Mario or Devil May Cry. The games all have hilarious titles to show how jaded and awesome the creator of the vid is: "Tomb Raider 7: At least this game is better than the Movies!" HAHAHAHA, GET IT? He's like making a joke on the awful Tomb Raider movies! But the game is only AT LEAST better than them, HAHAHAHAHA...wait that's not funny.
We are then treated to non-stop whining and bitching...I mean, how is it humanly possible to fit that much whining into a video? We can go on as much as want about girls and their period, but that guy is a million times worse. All the jokes are centered around whining, and are all desperately unfunny.
What any reasonable man or woman will be saying about this flash failure.[/b]
All in all the video is awful, a total whine fest of bitching and complaining disguised under a feable attempt at humour which fails before the video has even finished loading. The most enjoyable part of the video is the music at the end, even that kind of ear sodomy is more enjoyable than watching some fat pre-pubescent nerd's rant.
After watching the horrendous mess that was Dead Rain pt 2, one might feel a little blasé about horrid flash movies...but the "Decline" turns that feeling on its head with its sheer awfulness.
The guy who made this video, note the euthanasia worthy look he has.[/i]
The vid starts out with some exposition, all narrated in a charming pseudo-husky voice, the kind a teenager whose voice hasn't dropped yet would make to impress people. The exposition goes on and on in that terrible voice about how video games "were better at the beginning bawwww" and this and that. Whoever made this vid obviously never experimented the horror of playing one of the old Atari consoles (and its infamous porn games...then again, maybe he did, and he faps to them regularly).
Oh! The beauty of the original video game! Bask in the beauty of pixels as big as cars![/b]
After this annoying exposition is over, we are teleported into 2050 AD and are finally treated to some real animation...much better animation than in Dead Rain. We see our main protagonist, all sexeh and edgy for the ladies in his black T-shirt and long hair (the guy is probably a fat fucker who will die crushed under his body mass like a beached whale).
He makes his way to a video game store called "EB Games", which reveals he is from Australia or New Zealand...too far away for us to murder him...then again maybe EB Games is also in the UK (prepares rusty axe for fat nerd extermination).
He stops as the automatic doors opens and looks furtively around him...some Sci-Fi dystopian action? No, he is just holding the door for his friends, who are probably fat fuckers too...in fact, the whole "going down to EB Games" is probably entirely made up since that would entail walking, and these bastards are probably so overweight they'd be unable to walk 3 metres without having a heart attack. Maybe they have specially trained dogs they send out to the shop to get their games for them...
What this video consists of.[/b]
They then proceed to stroll around the store, looking at famous video game franchises like Tomb Raider, Mario or Devil May Cry. The games all have hilarious titles to show how jaded and awesome the creator of the vid is: "Tomb Raider 7: At least this game is better than the Movies!" HAHAHAHA, GET IT? He's like making a joke on the awful Tomb Raider movies! But the game is only AT LEAST better than them, HAHAHAHAHA...wait that's not funny.
We are then treated to non-stop whining and bitching...I mean, how is it humanly possible to fit that much whining into a video? We can go on as much as want about girls and their period, but that guy is a million times worse. All the jokes are centered around whining, and are all desperately unfunny.
What any reasonable man or woman will be saying about this flash failure.[/b]
All in all the video is awful, a total whine fest of bitching and complaining disguised under a feable attempt at humour which fails before the video has even finished loading. The most enjoyable part of the video is the music at the end, even that kind of ear sodomy is more enjoyable than watching some fat pre-pubescent nerd's rant.