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Post by The Merchant on Sept 2, 2010 14:23:45 GMT -6
Chapter 1: Om nom nom Twas a chilly day on the mountain town of Still Creed, when reports of people dying happened. This was a surprise to the populace, considering nobody died in Still Creed, they were just missing in action. To some, the daily drudgery of life in Still Creed was bad enough, let alone the problems with dying. But soon after the dead were buried, something very odd happened. The bodies disappeared a few days before the burial! This not only made the local populating mad, but pissed off Father Gregory as well. Father Gregory was your normal god-fearin' minister at Still Creed, and he took his position quite well, His love of the people was only matched by the amount of shotgun shells he had hidden in his office at the cathedral. but over the course of the next few weeks, more and more people were found not alive, and their bodies disappeared. This caused the people of Still Creed to form their new police department: SCARS, an abbreviation for Still Creed Ass Raeping Services. SCARS was headed by Albert Wesker, as well as Chris Redfield and Jill Valentine. Not to mention Barry Burton, and all those other guys. But they disappeared shortly after the formation of the group. Lost under the couch cushions of history. Suddenly there were reports of a murderin happening in the middle of town!A! Send Albert B! Send Barry C! Send Chris J! Send Jill E! Send entire team Is this enough__________________ Power level: |_______NONE_______|
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Post by slayer22 on Sept 2, 2010 14:26:39 GMT -6
A
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Basil
New Survivor
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Post by Basil on Sept 2, 2010 14:28:30 GMT -6
E!
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Post by PirateWolf12 on Sept 2, 2010 15:39:09 GMT -6
E.
SEND THEM ALL.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 2, 2010 16:34:08 GMT -6
E is the best option.
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Post by Kong The Jester on Sept 2, 2010 16:43:59 GMT -6
E
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 2, 2010 22:45:31 GMT -6
I'd go with B personally. I mean, who else do you need? He has 'this' after all.
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Post by The Merchant on Sept 2, 2010 23:21:40 GMT -6
Barry looked up from his computer screen. "Sir! Sir! They voted!" Wesker swooped in close to have a look. "Holy shit, they did." "Well?" Chris was flexing his roided up muscles. "Looks like we ALL get to go." Wesker scowled. Barry laughed at COGS' pathetic vote, but then Wesker smacked him. "Why if I find this Smakit, I will rip his intestines out his butthole and shove them in through his belly button!" Wesker roared. "Were there any votes for us? ._." Chris and Jill asked. "Fuck you guys, you already got your own CYOA..." Kenneth approached from behind. "...And I died in it!" ... "Nobody has any sympathy for you, Kenneth. You suck." Wesker threw him back in his cage. "Well, it looks like it's time to go to the BARRYmobile!" Everyone made a look of disgust and ran out of the room. Barry pulled his pants up and followed. DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DING! The gang strolled up to the middle of town in the much faster and STRONGAH Weskermobile. There were already a few police there, but they weren't really doing anything. In fact they just watched as the murderin happened. A ZOMMMMBIE leaped out of nowhere and landed on poor officer Muff Bluffer. He cried out in agony as his fat was ripped from his flesh. But this was no ordinary zombie... Rawr? ...This was a CRAAAAAB ZOOOOMMMMMBIE!!!! Wacky, huh? Well anyway, the entire gang pulled out their berettas and capped the sorry sucka until it stopped writhing on the ground. "Is it... Dead?" Jill whispered. "Of course it's dead, it's a fucking zombie." Muff cried out before he died. The team spread out to investigate the area. Wesker walked up to Officer Blowhard. "Exactly how much murderin happened here?" "Well I'd say quite a bit of murderin happened here, considering we kinda just pulled up and started shooting people. We didn't see any actual zombies until you dipshits showed up and killed Muff." "We didn't kill him. See? He's standing up!" And looking fitter than ever! "Good ta see ya back on your feet again, Muff!" Blowhard walked up to him to give him a handshake. Muff vomited all over Blowhard. "FUCK. CAP THAT BITCH," Blowhard cried out. Every officer unloaded on Muff until he exploded, showering the neighborhood with candy and love shaped like vomit. Everything within a two mile radius was covered in bile. A! Return to the station B! Look for more zoMMMMMMbies! C! Go get your clothes washed at Rick's Clothes Washing shop Rank!: Peon of the Faith
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 2, 2010 23:28:18 GMT -6
Hah! Not sure why, but I am drawn to C...
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Post by Veta on Sept 2, 2010 23:33:21 GMT -6
C!
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Post by PirateWolf12 on Sept 3, 2010 2:51:59 GMT -6
FREAKIN' C, Y'ALL MEAN???
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Basil the Fucking Hobo Bastard
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Post by Basil the Fucking Hobo Bastard on Sept 3, 2010 3:24:32 GMT -6
FOOKING C, FGT.
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Post by slayer22 on Sept 3, 2010 9:34:23 GMT -6
c
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 3, 2010 12:40:30 GMT -6
god, this is a hilairious joke cyoa. bravo, merchant. bravo. and C by the way.
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Post by AceTheMercenary on Sept 3, 2010 17:59:53 GMT -6
B
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Post by The Merchant on Sept 3, 2010 22:39:06 GMT -6
Barry pulled out his iTouch. "Well?" Wesker tapped his foot impatiently. "Looks like they all voted for goin' to the clothes washin' shop, ya know! Cept one, named Ace or somethin'..." "Find out who this asshole named 'Ace' is and we'll go driveby his house later. He seriously wanted us to go hunting for zombies covered in fucking puke? Not all of us live like gypsies." Wesker scowled at the post. "...Who is this COGS guy, though? He seems like a fine gentleman." "Actually Wesker, COGS isn't a man. It's a banshee from hell." Chris chimed in, rather informatively. "Yeah, of course." Jill agreed. She didn't want to remember those days with Ada ever again. "Blah blah, fuck you guys. You're just jealous because none of YOU got any votes." Wesker began laughing, but when he laughed he swallowed in some of the bile and started puking himself. Everyone got in the Weskermobile and drove up to Rick's Clothes Washing shop, which incidentally was only three feet away from where they were standing prior. Everyone piled out. "Hey Rick, how you doin'?" Chris greeted Rick. "Hey! If it ain't my FAVORITE customah! Chris! Doin' much manwhorin' lately? Got anymore pesky white stai-" "Ahem, Rick. Lets just keep that a little secret. Okay?" Chris hushed him. "Yeah, of course buddeh. What choo guys need?" Rick was washing a pair of pants covered in shat and bricks. "You see, 'Rick', we have puke all over our clothes. It's starting to soak into our nether-regions, if ya know what I mean..." Wesker said. "Okay. Well, take your clothes off." Rick said. "You... You don't have any replacement clothes while we wait?" Barry asked. "Hell no. Now take em off, fatty." Rick grinned. "Oh well." Chris took his clothes off faster than anyone else. "Jeez, Chris. Ain't you the pro!" Rick smiled again. Biting his bottom lip. Jill was next. "Panties, too. Miss." Rick smiled again. Jill began taking off her undergarments. "No! Not you!" Rick was looking at Barry. He had already taken off his shirt. Rick was grinning. Only known photo of Rick "Is it really necessary for us to get molested?" Wesker asked as it was his turn. "Shut up, pretty boy." Rick gave Wesker a stern look. "You want ya clothes washed or what?" "Fine. Luckily I always keep this mankini handy for these situations." Wesker pulled it out of his fanny pack. A! Get Wesker's clothes washed and deal with the consequences B! Kill Rick and take his already clean clothes, and money. C1! Say fuck it and walk out on to the street with puke clothes and look for zombies C2! Say fuck it and walk out on to the street nekked and look for zombies. Status: Violated
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Post by cogs on Sept 3, 2010 23:17:39 GMT -6
B
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Post by PirateWolf12 on Sept 3, 2010 23:50:12 GMT -6
C2.
Time to get SLU-U-U-U-U-U-U-U-U-U-TAY!
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Post by Veta on Sept 4, 2010 0:33:18 GMT -6
C2!
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Post by Kong The Jester on Sept 4, 2010 14:41:52 GMT -6
C2
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 4, 2010 18:59:49 GMT -6
B, course. why be naked when you can have money and clean clothes?
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Post by PirateWolf12 on Sept 4, 2010 19:24:58 GMT -6
Uh, why have clothes and money when you can be naked fighting zombies?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 5, 2010 22:33:20 GMT -6
You know, I was with coolcal until PirateWolf brought up a fine point. I'm going with C2 as well.
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