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Post by The Merchant on Sept 10, 2010 18:10:12 GMT -6
Bungie.net Your guide to the Seventh Column First off, here's some basic vocabulary: LOL: The Bungie.net version of a period. Most users attach this to the hind part of their post because something is obviously hilarious, like being on the internet in general. LMAO: Standing for Laughter Must Apparently Occur when somebody says something like 'Dat ass' or something. Kind of a rarity nowadays in the age of LOL, but nonetheless appears sometimes. BWU: Bungie Weekly Update. An update that occurs every Friday on Bungie.net (Except on Friday the 13th). Nobody mentions it until about an hour before it comes out, saying "WTF WHERE IS BWU" every three seconds until it appears, and then bitch about it for the rest of the night. These updates usually consist of a few photos nobody cares about and a screenshot or two. Troll: Somebody with an opinion and/or fucktard Your Average B.netter IRL Counterpart: A teenage girl Likes: Slightly illiterate conversations about small features in Reach and wondering what you're liek, TOTALLY GONNA WEAR ON SEPTEMBER 14! LOL! Calling people COD fanboys for obscure reasons. Dislikes: Other video games, MLG, waiting five seconds for the Bungie Weekly Update, Halo Wars Typical topic: 'whut _ARMOR PIECE_ are you gonna _WEAR_OR_HATE_ in reach?' Example topic: www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=48747471Trolling level: Easy They respond to trolls without hesitation. Openly admit to being twelve years old (Sometimes) Defend their horrid grammar and spelling by saying 'lol how cares?' and masturbate to the cover of Halo Reach every ten minutes. There are seriously hundreds of these guys roaming around. Like buffalo.
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Post by Kong The Jester on Sept 11, 2010 13:17:10 GMT -6
Seems like that herd of buffalo needs some thinning, by the Postal Dude, or anyone who can throw a boomerang machete without getting their head cut off.
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Post by The Merchant on Oct 1, 2010 21:06:53 GMT -6
Breaking news, you fuddruckers! Epic sweep bans were handed out on 10/1/10 due to a credit farming exploit in Reach. Many lulz were had, and I strongly encourage you to listen up as I toss out souffles of wisdom up yo ass. NAVIGATING AROUND BUNGIE'S SACRED BANHAMMER [/u][/center] Useful tips: lolwat? You can't navigate around Bungie's sacred banhammer. It is seriously impossible. They have cameras everywhere and monitor your stats with robots. Fucking ROBOTS. So if you were banned, you're fucked up the ass, friend. Suggestions: Don't fuck with Bungie. Moar suggestions: Go play Call of Duty if you're going to use exploits, fucktard. Examples: www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=49997802www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=49997813www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=50004168www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=50003879Lessons learned: Bungie is Jesus and the banhammer is his death scythe of power that rapes your soul with it's awesomeness. I think we should adopt Bungie's example here. Fun facts!: This shit was all done in one day. 15,000+ bans in ONE FUCKING DAY. Hardcore, to say the least. Deliciousness level: A little over 9000. New vocabulary: "Halocaust [Hay-low-cost]": To unplug a toilet full of an unappeasable fanbase and whiners.
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Post by Traveling Riverside Roj on Oct 1, 2010 21:23:38 GMT -6
Useful exposition. If I ever go to that shit hole, I shall use this as my guide. Now, if you excuse me, I am going to piss off some slightly-illiterate twelve year olds.
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Post by Vandy on Oct 4, 2010 13:04:05 GMT -6
THEYZ AFTA YO' FAMLEHZ! RUUUN!
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Post by Song Nai on Oct 4, 2010 17:53:30 GMT -6
That sucks yo! Oh well, COD is much better anyways
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Post by The Merchant on Oct 4, 2010 18:02:36 GMT -6
COD is bleh, yo. I prefer Halo, however I do admit the community is atrocious. Like, really atrocious. As in one of the shittiest video game communities ever.
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Post by Rai Chiller on Oct 18, 2010 22:08:50 GMT -6
GETTING YOUR TOPIC NOTICED ON B.NET Part 1 [/u] [/center] This guy is fucked. Just like your chances of getting a hot topic on Bnet without my help, yo. So you mother cluckers, you wanna be the kewlest of the kewl? The baddest of the bad? The faggiest of the fags?! Well you've come to the right place... Bnet! B.net, as you've probably figured out by now, is a real shithole at the moment. Bitches were banned, lulz were had, and precious douchebag halo fans were lost because they cheated. As of this moment, there are still PLENTY of people pissed off about these bans that were pleasurably handed out by Bungie's righteous hammer of bans. Bungie is of course still pwning them with extreme lolsauce and soaking in the delicious butthurt... BUT!!!!! What if you have an extremely funny or important opinion you want to share to the geniuses over at Bnet?!?! Well I'll tell you, my precious manchild. In fact, I will give you step by step instructions. STEP 1. Sign the FUCK up. So you've been lurking Bnet for years and finally want to sign up.[/center] HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THAT?!?!...You may ask. Well I will tell you. Neigh, I will SHOW you. Of course you don't fucking have a microsoft ID. Everyone uses Gmail, douchebags. Well now, you should sign up for your windows ID. Because if you don't have one then... Well... Quite simply you're fucked. Seriously, don't use Gmail. They'll find you and cut you if you don't. Now, onto the signup itself! Just follow my instructions below. The password is 83W8555. lolbewbs
Accept their ghey terms of use agreement. Okay, now on to ste- FUCKKKKKKK Turns out you may or may not have to confirm your account with your email address. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO- [/center] That's okay, bro. You don't. Oh thank Allah. After going through hell and back, you have finally... Yes, FINALLY... Signed. Up. At. BNET!!!!!! The promised land. Okay, you've completed step 1. You must feel like the fucking king of Bnet right now, don't you? DON'T YOU?! Well next update, we'll be talking about how to make a topic and the structure of a good topic. As well as catchy topic titles and how to respond to fucktards. For now, so long! And try to stay out of the way of Bungie's banhammer, you cockmonkeys.
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