Post by AceTheMercenary on Jun 21, 2010 11:04:32 GMT -6
SO, YOU THINK YOU'RE FINALLY READY FOR COMBAT, HUH?! NAME, AGE AND RANK, MAGGOT!
"Corporal Drake "D-FENS" Carter of the U.S. Green Berets, sir! 32 years of age, sir!"
WELL, AREN'T YOU A LITTLE WUSS? WHAT TOWN OR CITY AND COUNTRY WERE YOU BORN IN? AND WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY RESIDE?
"Born in the U.S. of A, sir! The best goddamn place in the world! Philadelphia, Pennsylvania is my hometown, and I've been there since the day I was born!"
SOUNDS LIKE ONE BIG HELL-HOLE TO ME, MAGGOT! WHICH SIDE ARE YOU ON, ANYWAY? AND HOW LONG HAVE YOU SERVED IN THE ARMED FORCES OF YOUR HOMELAND?
"I fight for the Allies, sir! I've been with the Green Berets for just about nine years now!"
YOU'VE GOT SOME BALLS, LASTING THIS LONG INTO THE INTERVIEW WITHOUT RUNNING OUT LIKE A SCARED LITTLE GIRL! SO, MAGGOT, TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF. WHAT WAS YOUR UPBRINGING LIKE? WHAT MADE YOU WANT TO TAKE UP ARMS AND SERVE YOUR COUNTRY?
"I'm just a simple guy with a love of fire and explosives, sir. Ever hear that old saying, "rags to riches"? My parents were still on the "rags" side of it. And last I checked, you didn't need to have a reason to want to kill as many people as you want and still get away with it. That, sir, is why I joined the Armed Forces."
INTERESTING... SO TELL ME, WHAT SKILLS AND STRENGTHS DO YOU POSSESS? WHAT DO YOU USE TO MAKE YOUR ENEMIES DROP DEAD ON THE FIELD, MAGGOT?
"Like I said earlier, I love explosives. The only thing I love more than explosives is catching as many people as possible in the killzone of said explosives. Sure, that may sound completely fucking insane to you, but I find being a demolition specialist is a very rewarding job... Sir. I'm good enough with an assault rifle, but I always enjoy straight-up, close quarter combat as opposed to gunning down everything that moves."
ALL RIGHT, NOW GIVE ME A BRIEF DESCRIPTION OF YOUR WEAKNESSES. I'D ASK FOR THE WHOLE STORY, BUT WE'D BE HERE ALL NIGHT, MAGGOT! TELL ME, WHAT MAKES YOU SCREAM LIKE THE LITTLE BITCH YOU ARE?
"Only problem I can really think of is also my greatest love. I've been known to get a little crazy with the explosives every now and then, so civilians and allies had better watch where they step. Just give me a gun and as many grenades as I can carry and I'm happy. Sod the tactical approach, just kill everything that moves."
GODDAMN, YOU'RE EVERYTHING I THOUGHT YOU'D BE, MAGGOT! AMERICA'S'S ARMED FORCES BETTER PUT YOU ON THE FRONT LINES AND GET RID OF YOU AS QUICK AS THEY CAN! NOW GET OUTTA MY SIGHT!
"Sir, yes, sir! OH SHI-" *Is smashed through the wall by the Fat Black Diva*