Post by Simon Allen on Jun 22, 2010 10:01:03 GMT -6
SO, YOU THINK YOU'RE FINALLY READY FOR COMBAT, HUH?! NAME, AGE AND RANK, MAGGOT!
Simon Dawkins Allen, age 26. Sergeant, Sir!
WELL, AREN'T YOU A LITTLE WUSS? WHAT TOWN OR CITY AND COUNTRY WERE YOU BORN IN? AND WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY RESIDE?
Born on London, England, Sir. I hope to live there for the rest of my life, Sir.
SOUNDS LIKE ONE BIG HELL-HOLE TO ME, MAGGOT! WHICH SIDE ARE YOU ON, ANYWAY? AND HOW LONG HAVE YOU SERVED IN THE ARMED FORCES OF YOUR HOMELAND?
I shall fight for the Allies, Sir! I've been with the SAS for 4 years now.
YOU'VE GOT SOME BALLS, LASTING THIS LONG INTO THE INTERVIEW WITHOUT RUNNING OUT LIKE A SCARED LITTLE GIRL! SO, MAGGOT, TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF. WHAT WAS YOUR UPBRINGING LIKE? WHAT MADE YOU WANT TO TAKE UP ARMS AND SERVE YOUR COUNTRY?
My family, Sir. They died in a terrorist attack when i was 4. I joined to keep this from happening to other families, but now my reasons have changed.
INTERESTING... SO TELL ME, WHAT SKILLS AND STRENGTHS DO YOU POSSESS? WHAT DO YOU USE TO MAKE YOUR ENEMIES DROP DEAD ON THE FIELD, MAGGOT?
I'm a Designated Marksman, Sir. Capable of using any long-range weaponry you have available. I also have some knowledge about Demolitions, but not as much as more trained individuals. I can handle Assault rifles with decent proficiency, too.
ALL RIGHT, NOW GIVE ME A BRIEF DESCRIPTION OF YOUR WEAKNESSES. I'D ASK FOR THE WHOLE STORY, BUT WE'D BE HERE ALL NIGHT, MAGGOT! TELL ME, WHAT MAKES YOU SCREAM LIKE THE LITTLE BITCH YOU ARE?
Eh...I'm not really too found of working with others, and some have said i tend to get distracted too easily. I'm also...kinda not comfortable on high places.
GODDAMN, YOU'RE EVERYTHING I THOUGHT YOU'D BE, MAGGOT! ENGLAND'S ARMED FORCES BETTER PUT YOU ON THE FRONT LINES AND GET RID OF YOU AS QUICK AS THEY CAN! NOW GET OUTTA MY SIGHT!
Yes Sir! *Gets up, salutes, turns around to leave, but trips and falls*
AIGHT, THAT'S IT, GET OUT NOW, YOU IDIOT!