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Post by PirateWolf12 on Nov 16, 2010 18:11:26 GMT -6
Okay, okay!
The next chapter is nearly done. I just need to edit it, add some things, edit those and think of a way to end it. After that there's about three chapters to go. Then the board musical play.
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Post by Mercury (HG) on Nov 16, 2010 21:46:57 GMT -6
Board musical play you say? I am going to die, aren't I?
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Post by PirateWolf12 on Nov 17, 2010 3:58:53 GMT -6
Like this anthology of raw sexual thrills, you will not be referenced, featured or mentioned in any way or form. So drop the ego, get out of my grill, back-out of this thread, go home, die and I shall continue writing about a transvestite with an army of seals and a musical tune.
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Post by Vandy on Nov 17, 2010 5:56:43 GMT -6
Hawt.
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Post by PirateWolf12 on Nov 17, 2010 18:25:15 GMT -6
Chapter 7: He Killed My Cooter
Cindy signed as she walked behind Vandy who was skipping merrily down the lonely rock cavern on the outskirts of the Living Dead. Besides Cindy walked one of the newly “recruited” females from the top side, Chelsea. Chelsea and Cindy were deep in conversation, probably about female stuff. Probably about tampons. That’s all women ever talk about, tampons and buying tampons. I bet. Cindy was feeling listless today, and Vandy’s constant singing was not helping.
“Smiles and cakes, rainbows and meth. Make me glee, make me wish for death So I’d be in Heaven to experience what makes me sappy But I’m so cheery all I can do is sing and be happy! I’m so happy ‘cause I’m a happy Vandy! Happy Vand- AAARRRGGGHHHHH!”
Vandy, along with Cindy and her new friend Chelsea found themselves screaming as the cavern floor collapsed under them, sending them hurtling into the darkness below. It felt like they had been falling for an eternity, though this was a simple hyperbole mixed with some female whining. The trio landed in an underground lake, glowing blue. Its beauty illuminated the room. Immediately Cindy and Vandy began to furiously swim to the land, Chelsea quickly following them. The only other glowing lake in the community was a product of toxic waste being dumped and had led to JaGraunslha Jackson being mutated into a giant banana thing, given Wizardwizard a human for hair, turned Cogs into Cogs and was behind several horrific experiments led by the mad scientist Veta. Glowing lakes were generally feared by the Living Deaders who had not mutated, but as Cindy and Vandy came to shore expecting the worst they found themselves to be just as they were when they fell in.
“What’s wrong?” Chelsea asked, crawling out of the water onto the pale gravel.
“I guess nothing- Oh sheeit.” Cindy said, cut off when she saw something quite unimaginable. It was a mountain. A mountain formed from the rotting remains of people. The gory sight, along with the horrid putrid smell emitting from it made Cindy vomit gothically. A note written in blood simply stated ‘beware of shark’.
“Stylish and in vogue!” Cindy said, clapping her hands together. “I vomited because I don’t feel worthy enough to be here. In addition, I am lucky and thankful we didn’t get eaten by the shark in the water.”
Chelsea’s head was slightly tilted to the right as she stood silently, deep in thought. “Where do you think we are? I mean, ProBoard City wise.”
Cindy shrugged. “I think we’re under the Twilight district. Why?”
Chelsea screamed in fear sexually. “Twifans were disappearing from the surface! The papers said a couple people were dragged into the sewers!”
“Oh my God!” Cindy cried out. “We’re gonna die!”
“Yeah, so,” Vandy said. “We’re lost in a large cavern with a mountain of mysterious gore and are about to be gutted. I think now is the appropriate time to tell you both why I’m so happy!” Vandy said. “I’m in love!”
“Oh, with who?” Chelsea asked as Cindy sobbed into her hands in fear.
“Your surface dweller friend! The one that didn’t die. She won the last annual Miss Living Dead. Still claimed her prize even after Rie slashed her face out of jealous whilst screaming how there could only be one. Anyway, we’re going pretty well. I watch her through a hole in the ceiling as she sleeps and she once nodded at me in the corridor. I think that means we’re like at third base.”
“Ummmmm’kay.” Chelsea said. “That’s all golly gee, cake without the almonds. But, uh, I think she’s already involved.”
“…What?” Vandy said. “She never mentioned this when I watched her through the two-way mirror!”
“Well, she told me. She’s getting’ pretty serious with that Sylar guy.”
“Sylar? Sylar.” Vandy said snake-likely.
Chelsea was almost happy to hear the water ripple to stop this awkward conversation. “Shit! Did you hear that?”
The trio turned towards the lake to see a shadow slowly coming towards the surface, close to where they stood. They were frozen in fearful anticipation by what lurked below. Suddenly without hesitation something burst out of the water. A walrus, its tusks sharp, white and glowing in the light emitting from the lake.
“WAAALRUUUS” It said, because that’s probably how all walruses speak.
“On my Satan!” Cindy said. “It’s the murderer!” The walrus adorably slapped her with its kawaiiii flipper, sending Cindy to the ground.
“WAAALRUUUS.”
Suddenly more walruses, a few dugongs and some uppity seals emerged. “Are they the murders?” Stripper Chelsea asked, helping Cindy up.
“I don’t think so,” Cindy replied. The group slowly backed away from the sea creatures, not knowing that something was digging its way out from the gore mountain…
“I want to go,” Vandy said.
“We can’t go anywhere until we find a way out of here. Maybe a way to the surface.” Cindy said.
“Well, then ask the head walrus or something.” Vandy cried, the trio still backing away as the creatures drew ever so closer, slowly.
“Just a minute, Vandy. We don’t want to interfere with their mating ritual!”
“This isn’t the junior chamber of commerce, Cindy!” Vandy whined. They were now backed up against Gore Mountain.
“Man the fuck up,” Cindy demanded.
“Look I’m cold, I’m wet and I’m just plain scared!” Vandy bitched, Vandishly.
“I’m here.” Cindy said, though Vandy wasn’t listening. He had seen the figure behind them, covered in blood and organs. “There’s nothing to worry about.”
Vandy shrieked and fainted. Cindy and Chelsea turned and faced the creature. He was large with red hair, giant arms and most noticeably he was wearing a skirt (or a “kilt” as the Jew run media wants us all to think). “I’m the Shark,” the beast said in a nightmarish accent, before beginning to sing.
“How d’you do? I see you've met my faithful handyman He's just a little brought down because when you knocked He thought you were the candyman.” He sang, signalling to the largest walrus. He pointed at two seals who helped back up his dancing.
”Don't get strung out by the way that I look, Don't judge a book by its kilt wearing cover I'm as much of a man by the light of day, Just as much at night I'm a hell of a lover I'm just a Sweet Transvestite from Transexual, Transylvania!”
”So let me show you around, maybe play you a sound You look like you're both pretty groovy Or if you want something visual that's not too abysmal We could take in an old dragon porn movie.
”I'm glad we caught you at… home.” Cindy said. “Could you now help us leave? We're all in a bit of a hurry. We'll just pretend we were never here, then go somewhere very far. We don't want to piss off some gross tranny.”
”So you went down the hole and fell with a flat…well, how about that?” He said, looking directly at you through your monitor. “Well babies, don't you panic. By the light of the loch, you’ll all see my… rock. I'll get you into a satanic panic.”
”I'm just a Sweet Transvestite from Transexual, Transylvania!”
”So why don't you stay for the night? Or maybe a bite? I could show you my favourite obsession. I've been looking for a girl with blond hair and some curls And she’ll be good for relieving my tension.”
”I'm just a Sweet Transvestite from Transexual, Transylvania.”
”So come up to the lab. And see what's on the slab. I see you shiver with antici...
…
…
…pation!”
“But maybe the hole, isn't really what’s wrong Honey, I won’t remove the cause and especially not… the symptom!” He sang as all the aquatic creatures dived into the deep recesses of the lake.
Shark grinned, his head morphing into that of a troll face. The group ran to the opposite side of the chamber and were once again trapped up against a rock wall. Chelsea tried to hide behind a rock as Vandy and Cindy cried and hugged each other in fear. Shark slowly pulled up his kilt. It seemed to go for a thousand years before he raised it above his you-know-what. Cindy and Vandy let out deathly screams as Shark still grinned, walking over with his kilt held up. A bright light shone out, lighting the area they were in. Cindy was terrified, and began to sweat. (Un?)Fortunately for herself, and unfortunately for Vandy who was still being hugged, she began to sweat acid, 'cause Cindy can do that thanks to some horrid experiments. The wall behind her, along with Vandy, melted, enabling her and Chelsea to flee into a tunnel that seemed to run parallel to the chamber. Shark, in anger, picked up a harpoon that was just lying around and threw it. It hit Chelsea in the chest, killing her. Cindy was able to flee, crying and acid sweating as she went. Shark was disappointed, but suddenly LaShawndrax appeared behind him.
“OH GOODEH IT’S MAH TURN!” She said.
Shark turned around, speechless.
“I LOVE IT, HEHEHEH!” She motioned towards her leather clad body. “ALL THIS, WITHOUT A SNAP!” She began to tap dance. She, too, began to sing. Kinda gospel, kinda awful.
”Hair like fire, accent like sexual pain. A Scot man makes mah pelvis rain! He has murder in his Scottish eyes As calming in your sleep like my thunder thighs But a Scot makes mah mind lust and insane!”
“Hole in the ground lead LaShawndrax to a good man. Last one didn’t turn out so good, y’hear?” She said, motioning to an arm that stuck out from one of her folds, looking for salvation that would never come as the figure it belonged to finally suffocated. The arm dropped, not moving. Sad music began to play.
She slowly edge towards the scared cannibal monster until she spotted the mountain of gore. “BUFFET!” She screamed, rushed over to it and began to chow down like there was no tomorrow. After she was done devouring the remains of about a thousand unfortunate souls, she turned to Shark and his marine animals that all stared in fear.
“MOOOAAAR!” She roared, running towards them, who all fled deeper into the lake.
As this cruel stereotyping joke occurred, Vandy, now in liquid form, puddled around miserably. Suddenly the figure that had been following him for days appeared from a crack in the ground.
“Vandy.” Puddle Cogs said. “You have now met the true misery.”
“I already have, Cogs.” Vandy said. “My love, my true love, may be with someone else.”
“Well, you were stalking her Vandy.”
“I did not stalk her! It’s bullshit! I did not stalk her. I did naaht. But I know she is in love with me and not that BITCH Dykelar!”
“Oh really? I’m sure she is. But just for the hell of it, let’s go find out.” Cogs said, dripping or however the hell a body of water moves towards the crack in the ground.
“But why do you care?” Vandy asked.
“Oh, I just…do…” He said, and if he still had a face it was be all cast in shadow with a weird look to be all mysterious but he doesn’t so sorry for wasting time with this sentence.
To be continued…
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Post by Mercury (HG) on Nov 17, 2010 21:59:55 GMT -6
*Clap clap*
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Post by PirateWolf12 on Nov 18, 2010 20:11:06 GMT -6
*bows*
I promise the next chapter to come soon. It shall involve confrontations, a song from Buffy, a mutated park, a puddle's plan and what we all think true love truly is.
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Post by Veta on Nov 18, 2010 20:25:36 GMT -6
Truly an interesting masterpiece of yours. I am quite capitatived by the puddle's plans and why Sylar will do about his gal, as well as the showdown in the funfun corner.
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Post by Vandy on Nov 20, 2010 19:41:48 GMT -6
Moar
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Post by Mercury (HG) on Nov 21, 2010 16:21:26 GMT -6
*Slaps Vandy* DON'T PRESSURE HIM, YOU HILLBILLEH FUCK.
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Post by Vandy on Nov 21, 2010 16:55:32 GMT -6
I'm not a hillbilly...
EDIT: I'm Not A Hillbilly.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Dec 12, 2010 19:39:02 GMT -6
As much as she already appears in the story, there needs be more Lashawndrax:) (I'm assuming that L here is based on the Lashawndra from DR2, or perhaps is the same person)
This looks like a lot of fun PW12:) Keep up the good work...or the good "appealing activity" in any case.
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Post by PirateWolf12 on Dec 13, 2010 6:52:52 GMT -6
I love LaShawndra. I always save her. But LaShawndrax isn't based on; physically at least. More like this: blogs.knoxnews.com/telebuddy/GABOUREY%20SIDIBE.jpgI do plan to keep writing, in fact I have the next chapter half way done. I've just run into some writer's block. I think there's to be that chapter and two more after.
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Post by PirateWolf12 on Feb 5, 2011 19:32:46 GMT -6
Chapter 8: The Power of Mangina
It was a beautiful day (as beautiful as it can get living in an ostracised community below a polluted city of filth) in the Living Dead community, so a large turn out of the population headed to the city’s only park, Arcadia. A chamber with a small creek of fresh water running through it, surrounded by dark blue grasses and strangely glowing plants.
“It sure is a lovely day,” Miss Living Dead said, the light shining on her new Rie-approved scar. It was totally badass.
“That it certainly is, Miss Living Dead.” Sylar said, with a tip of his top hat.
“Oh Mister Sylar, must I remind you? Call me Nikki.” She said, fanning herself. “You know, living on that cruel surface in the slums of that horrid city, I never thought I’d meet a guy. A guy as nice as you.”
“Oh, Nikki. I, too, thought I’d always be alone in this underground dungeon. But you changed that.
Naturally, a musical number began. Sylar began to sing.
“I lived my life in shadow Never the sun on my face It didn't seem so sad though I figured that was my place Now I'm bathed in light Something just isn't right.”
Nikki fanned herself, and began to deliver her solo that took so damn long to write.
”I'm under your spell How else could it be Anyone would notice me? It's magic, I can tell How you set me free Brought me out so easily.”
”I saw a world enchanted Spirits and charms in the air I always took for granted I was the only one there But your power shone Brighter than any I've known”
Suddenly she began to dance, as Rie and Amy, both just chillin’ in the park, began to back her up.
”I'm under your spell Nothing I can do You just took my soul with you You worked your charm so well Finally, I knew Everything I dreamed was true.”
”You made me believe.”
Suddenly she ran to Sylar and embraced him.
”The moon to the tide I can feel you inside.”
”I'm under your spell Surging like the sea Pulled to you so helplessly I break with every swell Lost in ecstasy Spread beneath my Sylar tree
You make me complete You make me complete You make me complete You make me…
The two locked lips, unaware someone sinister was watching them from the creek.
“Oh. My. Goddess.” Puddle Vandy said, before breaking down and sobbing into himself but he can’t because he’s a puddle so don’t even try and think how that works you sicko.
“Are you crushed, Vandy?” Puddle Cogs asked gleefully, savouring the moment. “Don’t you just want to board the vein pain train?”
“Yes! OMG! Where’s a razor?” Vandy asked, sobbing.
“Oh, there’s one!” Cogs said, motioning towards a bloody razor lying in the palm of a dead emo girl named Egogy. Vandy rolled/swam/moved towards it and tried to pick it up.
“I can’t pick it up!” Vandy lamented, and began to cry. “I, like, so don’t want to live anymore! Oh help me die, Cogs! END MAH LIFE!”
“I can’t. We’re a puddle. We could try evaporating ourselves in the sunlight, but, you know…there’s no sunlight.”
“YOU’RE TEARING ME APART, COGS!” Vandy screamed, puddleishly.
“I’m not. But I know something that could, now that I think of it. It’s impossible to destroy a puddle of water unless you use a lot of pressure. And I mean a lot. I know how we can end it, Vandy. This suffering of being a puddle by that madman Veta.”
“I wasn’t turned into a puddle by Veta. Cindy melted me with her PMSing or something.”
“Veta was the cause of that. And I know how you came to be liquid. I need you, Vandy. You’re a puddle, a puddle made from acid. You’re burning the ground beneath us. We can set ourselves free, take revenge and sanctify this dreary hell hole. Come, Vandy, let us pool ourselves to the Great Divide.”
“Wait,” Vandy said. “The urge to sing – no, not another ballad to you – is too great to pass up.”
Suddenly Rai, Aussie, Rie, and Amy walked up, ready to just dance. Vandy began to slowly grow, becoming the shape of his human self, except made from water. He began to rap.
“I see you driving 'round town With the guy I love and I'm like, Forget you! Oo, oo, ooo I guess the change in my pocket Wasn't enough I'm like, Forget you! And forget him too! I said, if I was richer, I'd still be with ya Ha, now ain't that some sh-h-hit. And although there's pain in my chest I still wish you the best with a… Forget you! Oo, oo, ooo”
The others began to dance.
”Yeah I'm sorry, I can't afford a ferrari, But that don't mean I can't get you there. I guess she's an xbox and I'm more atari, But the way you play your game ain't fair.”
”I pity the fool that falls in love with you.”
”Oh shhh she's a gold digger Just thought you should know it” The four others sang. Vandy jumped forward, pointing at Nikki who still had not noticed him, too busy sucking face with Sylar.
“Ooooooh I've got some news for you Yeah go run and tell your little girlfriend! Now I know, that I had to borrow, Beg and steal and lie and cheat. Trying to keep ya, trying to please ya. 'Cause being in love with your face ain't cheap.”
”Now baby, baby, baby, why d'you wanna wanna hurt me so bad? (So bad, so bad, so bad) I tried to tell my mamma but she told me "this is one for your dad" (Your dad, your dad, your dad) Uh! Whhhy? Uh! Whhhy? Uh! Whhhy baby? Oh! I love you oh! I still love you. Oooh!”
Suddenly Vandy splattered down to his regular puddle self, allowing the four others to jump forward and finish his ballad.
”I see you driving 'round town With the guy I love and I'm like, Forget you! Oo, oo, ooo I guess the change in my pocket Wasn't enough I'm like, Forget you! And forget him too! I said, if I was richer, I'd still be with ya Ha, now ain't that some shit! And although there's pain in my chest I still wish you the best with a... Forget you! Ooooooo”
Nikki and Sylar stopped kissing. The four dancers returned to their usual routines of dancing, singing, sucking, and screwing in a delicious hawt foursome of pure sexual win. During their lustin’ thrustin’, nobody noticed the puddle things slinking/swimming/flowing away…
***
Cindy remembered the way to her final destination. Through a maze of tunnels and pipes she ran all the way, crying, until she reached the place. Veta’s lab. Aka, THE FUNFUN CORNER. It was located in a cavern near the radioactive lake. Close enough for Veta to “perform”. She saw him standing in the centre of the lab amongst several large looted pieces of equipment. Some that looked horribly familiar. The lab was massive, with a cathedral ceiling standing several storeys above them. Cindy had no idea what this place had once been before Veta annexed it.
“Veta.” Cindy said, rage in her eyes.
“Cindy,” he replied back. He looked up. “I haven’t seen you since that song.”
“You fucking monster.”
“I beg your pardon?” Veta said indifferently to being insulted.
“You turned me into some horrible creature. I just killed a poor little kid because of what you did to me!” She was now crying, though Veta didn’t care. Cindy looked around the room. She could see several cages against the wall, the moving figures cast in shadow.
“Yes. I know. I have camers everywhere. I saw you killed Vandy.”
“…”Who’s Vandy? My point is, you’re a tosser and you have gay-claws.”
“I guess it depends…on how you look at it.” He said, looking up with a smile.
She saw as he tried secretly to pick up the gun hidden in his lab coat. She picked up a beaker and threw it at him. She had always had good aim and was not surprised as it shattered in his face. He screamed in pain, allowing Cindy to get close and grab his gun. She hit him in the back of the head with the handle. He blacked out.
Two minutes later he woke up, sore and disorientated. He was tied up on the ground.
“Kinky, Cindy.” He said. “Why couldn’t you be one of my more nicer creations? Walrus and Wizardwizard seemed happy.”
“You truly are a monster-“
“I’m a god!” Veta interjected, wishing he could raise his fist and look up in an awesome pose.
Cindy rolled her eyes and looked around the great chamber. She had turned on all the lights and could now see the figures in the cage. A group of humans stood in one, their faces showing obvious fear, though a couple seemed happy at what was happening to their attacker. In the other cage Cindy nearly screamed. Rotting creatures, their arms outstretched through the bars.
“What are they?”
“The failed experiments.”
“There’s dozens.”
“There were a lot of failures. God! No need to rub it in. Sad face.”
“Who were they?” Cindy asked.
“People that didn’t matter.”
“And who are your hostages?”
“People I took from ProBoard City. I’m bored. Speed this up.” He had no apology in his voice for what he had done.
“Oh my God! Does everyone else in this hole have a freakin’ secret passage to the surface? WHY ARE WE STILL LIVING HERE?”
“It’s our home. Like, learn to respect it!”
“Whatever, Rude Boy. We’re gonna’ have one hell of a wild night,” Cindy said holding up a rusty soup spoon.
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Post by Vandy on Feb 7, 2011 5:52:37 GMT -6
That was the single best thing I've seen.
... EVER.
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Post by Veta on Feb 7, 2011 21:41:09 GMT -6
A.... Rusty spoon?
O.O
How many chapters are left? Will we finally migrate to the Proboards City surface?
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Post by PirateWolf12 on Feb 7, 2011 21:45:28 GMT -6
One last chapter, followed by the epilogue. Both have songs.
Will Cogs' evil plan work? Who will survive the events? Will Veta be turned on by Cindy's torture? Will the zombies be freed? Will the survivors finally escape to the surface? Who will sing in the final song?
All these shall be answered in the coming chapters.
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Post by Vandy on Feb 8, 2011 14:01:30 GMT -6
I DON'T SEE MY NAME IN THAT.
I thought you loved me.
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Post by Traveling Riverside Roj on Feb 15, 2011 16:53:29 GMT -6
Rojjy didn't see any Ice Cube or the Coup music in your anthology, either, Aussie. I thought you loved me, as well.
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Post by PirateWolf12 on Feb 17, 2011 21:03:04 GMT -6
There's just so many songs I want to include.
A funk song for Roj. I Know What Boys Like for LaShawndrax. When I Get You Alone for Rai. Firework for me, Aussie. Blame It (On The Alcohol) for Amy. Home for Rie. A mashup of Touch My Body/I Touch Myself for a group performance. Baby for Basil. California Gurls for Cindy and Matt.
Unfortunately I can't include it all. I might make a sequel though.
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Post by PirateWolf12 on Jul 21, 2011 22:23:29 GMT -6
Chapter 9: The Penultimate Penis
“Here we are,” Cog-puddle said. The puddle duo were standing/bobbling/swimming at the base of the largest flood gate in the underground chambers. The towering concrete walls dwarfed the flat and liquid duo and Vandy swore he could hear rushing water on the other side. “Once we burn a hole through this thing we’ll be torn apart, surely freeing us from our confines!”
“But won’t that flood the rest of the city?”
“Yes, but they don’t really matter. In a way, we’re freeing them from their boring air-breathing, non-liquefied lives.”
“I…I can’t!” Vandy shrieked in an unnessecary way.
“What!?”
“I refuse!”
“Well, tough.” Cogs said. “For you see, WE’RE ALREADY ON THE DAM.”
Vandy looked up/down/around/everywhere. Cogs was right. Somehow he had moved them up, high on the towering wall of concrete. He could already feel the cement slowly decaying beneath the fusion of Cogs and Vandy. Condy. Vags. Vags. Vags was beginning to dissolve the ancient wall, and it would soon mean trouble for the Living Dead community who would inevitably stop it.
Else where, Rai’s eyes opened in fear. “My capitalist sense is tingling. Quick! To the flood gates!” He cried, and quickly led several of the Living Deaders through a tunnel.
********************
“Hey!” Cindy to one of the now freed hostages. “Dare me to drive a nail through that?” She was standing over the bruised body of Dr. Veta.
“Ow! No.” The man replied, getting squeamish.
“Day-yum. Hell to the no,” another large black man named Izaya said.
Cindy was annoyed. “Well, excuse me for wanting to try something new!”
“That’s a little too kinky,” Izaya said.
“Yeah!” A woman agreed.
“I concur.” Said Veta, trying to throw his voice but failing. Cindy kicked him out of annoyance.
“Fine.” She said. “Izaya! Consult the torture book for what to do next!” Cindy began to cackle, a tad more than what the situation required.
Izaya opened the book to a rather gruesome image, so gruesome I won’t even describe it. Let’s just say it involves a Lady Gaga CD, a forty inch dildo covered in spikes, an elephant, and Tabasco sauce.
Cindy looked at it with confusion. "So that's me, that's Veta, and that's you?"
Izaya was equally confused. "So I do that, and you do that, and that should force him to do that? Messy."
"Unless you do that and I instead do that!” Cindy said.
"Well, I'm the only one who can do that." Veta interjected.
"Unless we use one of those on the elephant, but I don't know where we'd get that." Izaya sighed.
“Forget it!” Cindy cried. “Let’s just bake him alive.”
The other hostages all cheered. Naturally a music number began.
“It’s a piece of cake to bake a pretty cake” Cindy sang.
”If the way is hazy” the others sang.
”You gotta do the cooking by the book You know you can’t be lazy! Never use a messy recipe The cake will end up crazy If you do the cooking by the book, then you’ll have a cake!” Cindy’s voiced mused.
Then came the Izaya solo:
”Break it down bitch, let me see you back it up Drop that ass down low then pick that motherfucker up Break it down bitch, let me see you back it up Drop that ass down low then pick that motherfucker up Now back that pussy, tease a motherfucker Hey back that pussy, tease a motherfucker Now back that pussy, tease a motherfucker Hey back that pussy, tease a motherfucker”
Cindy grabbed his hand.
”It’s a piece of cake to bake a pretty cake”
“What!?”
“If the way is hazy!”
”Fuck yeah!”
“You gotta do the cooking by the book”
“What?
“You know you can’t be lazy!”
“Yeah!
“Never use a messy recipe”
”What!?
“The cake will end up crazy”
“Yeah!”
“If you do the cooking by the book, then you’ll have a cake”
Izaya sang his solo verse.
”Rub that shit it's yours bitch! Grab his dick it's yours bitch! Rub that shit it's yours bitch! Grab his dick it's yours bitch! Now turn around bitch, put that ass on a nigga Grind on his dick make it get a little bigger Now turn around bitch, put that ass on a nigga Grind on his dick make it get a little bigger” ”You gotta do the cooking by the book!” Cindy finished.
“Oh, shit.” Veta said, turning to the caged zombies and wishing he’d rather be getting chomped on by them then being subjected to Lazy Town.
********************
“Puddle things, what is this? What’s this about? What’s happening?” LaShawndrax asked, pointing to the now deeper hole in the cement wall. “That thing is ancient, you must be careful! Why, I’d almost think you were trying to kill us all!”
“That’s exactly what I am trying to do!” Roared Cogs. “Free me and I guess my relation Vandy and kill you all!”
There were gasps all around.
“Vandy!” Aussie cried. “I expected this from Cogs, but not from you.”
“It’s not what it looks like!” Cried Vandy.
“Tough! My capitalist sense told me you would be here, so whilst running I choreographed and learned a new song, just for this meeting.” Aussie cried. Rai, Rie, LaShawndrax, Nikki, Sylar and Amy quickly ran up behind him, taking their place………TO DANCE. Aussie pulled out a microphone stand and began to sing his solo.
“I know I can't take one more step towards you ‘Cause all that's waiting is regret And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore? You lost the love I loved the most”
”I learned to live, half a life And now you want me one more time And who do you think you are? Runnin' round leaving scars Collecting your jar of hearts And tearing love apart”
”You're gonna catch a cold from the ice inside your soul So don't come back for me Who do you think you are?”
”I hear you're asking all around If I am anywhere to be found I have grown too strong To ever fall back in your arms” ”And who do you think you are? Runnin' round leaving scars Collecting your jar of hearts And tearing love apart You're gonna catch a cold From the ice inside your soul So don't come back for me Don't come back at all”
”Who do you think you are? Who do you think you are? Who do you think you are?”
Everybody was crying and it was beautiful and arousing and so great they didn’t even notice that a spout of water was shotting through Cogs’ puddle-chest.
“FUCK SAKE AUSSIE.” Vandy roared. “I’M A HOSTAGE. COGS IS MAKNIG ME.”
“Oh.” Aussie said. “I guess I should have sang Firework instead.”
“Hey!” Amy cried. “Let’s go choreograph that!”
The survivors quickly rushed off to go prepare.
“Wait!” Nikki cried. “This poor kid is reaching out to you. He needs your help. And you all go off to sing? That’s awful. It’s despicable. You all suck! Yeah, you heard me! I thought this was some nice place where we all live in harmony, where we occasionally broke out into song. Where instruments played in the background on cue and nobody was a puddle. Mad scientists? Mutants? LaShawndrax? Nothing but screwing and singing, screwing and singing. Over and over. This place is hell! I hope you all drown! Don’t touch me, Sylar! You just eat and screw, eat and screw and sometimes in song. Song!? Explain yourselves, all of you!”
“I can explain. But only…THROUGH SONG.” Rai spat.
“You just sang.” Nikki said, annoyed.
“So? Deal with it.”
“But the flood gates-“ Vandy tried to cry, but was cut off…FOR SONG.
”You make fun Yet I am the one Attempting to do some good Or do you really want a neighborhood Where people practice chastity every night? Thirty-four, in your face and at your door It’s the best rule in the land This is the new millennium Celibacy is dead”
The music turned sombre as Rai continued to sing.
”Dearly beloved, we gather here to say Our goodbyes Here she lies No one knew her worth The late great daughter of Mother Earth On these nights when we celebrate the birth In that little town of Bethlehem We raise our glass- You bet your ass to- La Vie Lovin’”
Everyone who counts joined in as the music began to pick up. ”La Vie the living La Vie the dead La Vie the lovin’ La Vie Living Dead”
Rai continued to sing, his capitalistic voice ringing true. ”To days of inspiration, Playing doctor, getting’ off on something Out of nothing, the need To express- To communicate, To going against the grain, Going insane, Going mad To loving tension, detention To porn in three dimension dimension, To starving for attention, Hating convention, hating pretension, Not to mention of course, Hating dear old mom and dad To riding your bike In your birthday suit- To fruits! To no absolutes To Absolute! To dykes! To being the village bike Doing any passing fag To thinking only of us during Instead of about them-“
”La Vie three-four! La Vie rule thirty-four” They all sang. ”Is the performance choreographed to end in a naked pyramid?” Aussie asked. ”It is, Aussie.” Rie said.
Aussie grimaced. ”Ew, don’t give Rai that place And don't give me that face!” he sang, ending with a butt smack. ”AHHEMM” Nikki coughed. ”Hey Mister! She's my sister.” Aussie winked.
Amy joined in. “So that's five Pokemon nudes, Four vore-mystery salads Three bara burger dinners, Two dog-on-dog platters And one chan-four-chan with guro sauce” ”Eww.” Rie said. ”Don’t judge if it’s in alt!” Rai said, waving his finger. ”Just press ‘hide’ or close your eyes” Aussie laughed.
Amy continued. ”And thirteen orders of Rie Is that it here?” ”More thirty-four!” They all cheered.
Aussie and Rie began to sing. ”To hand-drawn pics made in local factories To yogi bear, and lolwut pear, to having sex with bees To leather, to dildos, all covered in Vindaloo To Huevos Rancheros but definitely not to you!” They sang, pointing at the burning puddles. ”For emotion, empty devotion and causing a commotion, For creation, for vacation” Song and LaShawndrax sang. ”Mutual masturbation!” Rai cried. ”Leather fashion is my passion When it's new” Song and LaShawndrax sang. ”To Song and me” Rie sang. ”To Song and you” sang Aussie. ”To getting’ off on anything taboo!” Amy, Rie, and a couple of backup girls sang.
”Simpsons, sodomy, cunalingus and rape” They all sang. ”Featuring Hermione Granger”
“And a grabby stranger!” Rai rhymed. ”To live on stage!” Amy cried. ”Rule34 of Utah” ”And Buddha” ”And Pablo Neruda, tooooooo!”
”Why did Dorothy and Toto go over the rainbow? To blow Auntie Em” Aussie and Amy sang.
”La Vie Living Dead!” They all cried.
“And wipe the junk off before you pack” Aussie said. ”Yes, Aussie.” Rie sighed. ”Well, hurry back.” Aussie said, blowing a kiss. ”Sisters?” Nikki said in disbelief. ”We're close!”
They all began to sing. ”Bisexuals, trisexuals, Homo Sapiens, Carcinogens, hallucinogens, men, Pee Wee Herman With German wine, turpentine, Gertrude Stein Antonioni, Bertolucci, Kurosawa Carmina Burana To apathy, to entropy, to empathy, doing and abusing ecstasy Vaclav Havel- The Sex Pistols, 8BC To no shame- Never playing the monogamy game” ”To marijuana!” The ghost of Ace cried.
”To sodomy It's between God and me To S&M!” They all mused. ”Wait, wait, wait!” Sylar accidentally sang as he ran after Nikki, now storming off back into the tunnels.
“La Vie to us! La Vie to me! La Vie to you and you and you and you and you! To Living Dead, to giving head and seeing red! La Vie Living Dead!” They all sang.
They all cheered, a job well done. “Come, let us find the others for an even more epic performance, followed by meals of brie and wine and sexual enjoyment!” They cheered more and ran away into the tunnels.
“Wait a goddamn minute!” Vandy roared, but nobody was around to help him. Cogs cackled.
“Every time something happens to me, it’s some kind of madness.” Vandy stated/referenced/hinted at. Suddenly the wall began to disintegrate, and before Vandy could spoil any more information about the newest story idea, he and Cogs were pulled apart by the pressure as a billion tonnes of H2O disintegrated their molecules, finally releasing them from their inner prison. The giant wave of water rushed down the tunnel, flooding ever passage it came across.
********************
“Nikki, I’m sorry!” Sylar said.
“They’re insane.”
“Yes, but in a way….they’re my family!”
“That’s stupid.”
“Yeah, I don’t buy it either. Look, I am sorry about poor Candy, but what can we- do you hear something?”
The pair turned around and looked in horror as the torrent of water came rushing towards them.
“Run, run!” she cried.
********************
Elsewhere, in the lower part of the tunnels, Matt and Basil were coming home from an elegant and expensive dinner at the local McDonalds. After stepping off the back if their reptile transport, Matt continued to sing, just as he did through the entire four hour date. It may be the reason as to whether he may or may not be getting’ some tonight. The pair walked towards the front door of Matt’s home.
”We rode on the back of a crocodile To my bachelor pad decorated in argyle I had a feeling I would see you in the nu-u-u-ude! My neighbor, Calis, he handed me the lube, As he said "Right this way, you two Then you said:”
Basil began to sing. ”Alice Calis! You were my lover of malice!”
“It's me, Basil!” Basil spoke, before continuing with his song.
”Yeah!...I guess I did ream you. I'm Basil, and I'm bourgeois! I've ate and slept with toads in the raw! And it would be a good bet that I've slept with you You took a ride on the seat Tried to stick nails through my teats And I won't get to the stuff with the Jew But I have no regrets sleeping WITH. YOU.
WITH YOUUUUU!”
“Do you hear something,” Alice Calis asked. Suddenly the wall of water towered over the three, rushing towards them in a truly terrifying sight.
“I have no regrets!” Basil cried, before being torn apart by the wave along with the rest of his lovers and pet crocodiles.
********************
An explosion could be heard in the far distance, echoing through the metal and cement to Veta’s secret lab located in the deep tunnel.
“What was that?” Asked Izaya.
“Oh no.” Cindy said. The rumbling must have opened the poorly locked cage containing Veta’s failed experiments. The creatures, hardly man anymore, shambled towards the survivors.
“I should mention they long for human blood.” Veta said, his body buried beneath cake mixture in a giant bowl.
“Uh, Cindy. More problems!” One of the hostages said. Down the never ending tunnel, Cindy could see what looked like a green wall of some liquid rushing towards them. Cindy though for a second. She had to act now. “Shit!” She cried as one of the failed experiments tried to bite her. She ran over to Veta, and pulled him out of the mixture. They didn’t have much time.
“Thanks for a great night,” she said, and kicked him into the crowd of hungry zombies, who were more than happy to oblige. “This way,” she screamed, leading the hostages up a staircase protruding out of one of the walls. She could only hope it would lead to the surface. Within less than a minute the water reached the lab, drowning the dead and washing away all traces it had ever existed…
********************
“I’m scared, Rai.” Aussie said, Aussiliciously.
“Yes. As am I.” Rie said, in her usually apathetic way. The three stood on a viaduct bridge, the water rushing below them. It was rising fast. Above them they could hear more rumbling. They had no idea what happened to the rest of their friends.
“Whatever happens, don’t let go!” Rai screamed as the roof collapsed, cascading more polluted water down onto them.
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Post by Gabe Bar on Jul 21, 2011 23:01:15 GMT -6
I cried tears of melancholy from the eyes of hope. Fantastic Aussie.
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Post by PirateWolf12 on Jul 22, 2011 3:53:34 GMT -6
Oh, you!
I just wanted this chapter to be done, in all honesty. I probably should have broken it into two, but I just wanted to finish the story. Only one more chapter - well, more of an epilogue - and it'll be done. Not sure what music to include. So far, only one song. But I think that one song will be enough, so I might leave it. Pity. I'd have loved some Yael Naim but the opportunity never arose. Maybe I'll include Firework, for Rai's sake, but so far I plan to keep it short.
Also, I leaked the title for my upcoming story in this chapter in an obvious way. Yay!
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Post by Gabe Bar on Jul 22, 2011 8:20:27 GMT -6
You should put a small intravenous injection of Gabe in there somewhere.
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Post by Veta on Jul 22, 2011 11:03:58 GMT -6
Or maybe Triller.
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Post by PirateWolf12 on Jul 30, 2011 6:57:47 GMT -6
When this gets to 600 views I'll post the final chapter. Mwahahaha!
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Post by Traveling Riverside Roj on Jul 30, 2011 11:28:34 GMT -6
I had to refresh fourty-seven times. I hope you're happy.
Edit: Moar liek fifty-two now.
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Post by Gabe Bar on Jul 30, 2011 11:32:08 GMT -6
We crave more. We needs it.
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Post by PirateWolf12 on Jul 30, 2011 18:05:03 GMT -6
...Okay, I'll begin writing it when I get back home. Firework may be in it, for Rai and Vandy.
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Post by PirateWolf12 on Aug 19, 2011 2:22:15 GMT -6
Chapter 10: The End
A hand darted out of the water, grabbing onto a platform that hadn't been submerged like the majority of the Living Dead. Aussie pulled himself us, as great as ever. Slowly, Rai followed, as did many others.
"Well, ain't this a kick in the head?" Amy said. "Thank God those friendly walruses saved us."
"Hey!" Aussie said. "Look what I found." It was a magic lamp. He began to rub it in a whorish way. A genie came out.
"I shall grant you one wish!" The purple smokey creature said.
"Go home, terrorist!" Rie said.
"Quiet," Aussie said. "One? Shouldn't it be three?"
"One, and I'm being generous. You rubbed me in an awkward way, kid."
"Fine," Aussie said.
"This should be easy," Rie said. "Wish for the Living Dead to be back."
"That's stupid. You're stupid!" Aussie cried. "I know what to wish for." He whispered something into the genie's ear. The genie nodded and clapped. Suddenly, Vandy appeared. The survivors were shocked. What a waste of a wish.
"I'm…I'm alive!" Vandy cried. "And in my human form! You saved me."
"Oh." Aussie said. "Actually, I just didn't want any loose ends."
Suddenly, music began to sing. The few survivors, Aussie, Rie, Rai, Amy, LaShawndrax, Sylar, and Song plus a few other lurkers began to dance. Aussie began to sing.
"Do you ever feel like a plastic bag Drifting through the wind, wanting to start again? Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin Like a house of cards, one blow from caving in?
Do you ever feel already buried deep? Six feet under screams but no one seems to hear a thing Do you know that there's still a chance for you 'Cause there's a spark in you?
You just gotta ignite the light and let it shine Just own the night like the 4th of July
'Cause baby, you're a firework Come on, show 'em what you're worth Make 'em go, oh oh oh As you shoot across the sky aye aye"
Suddenly, everyone began to sing and dance around Vandy.
"Baby, you're a firework Come on, let your colours burst Make 'em go, oh oh oh You're gonna’ leave 'em going oh oh oh
Baby, you're a firework Come on, let your colors burst Make 'em go, oh oh oh You're gonna leave 'em going oh oh oh
Boom, boom, boom Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon Boom, boom, boom Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon"
Everybody stopped. Vandy immediately began to slowly dissolve.
"What the hell?" He cried.
"Oh." Aussie said. "The wish was to perform Firework to you. I didn't say anything about resurrecting you. Heart hug! Next time don't step on my spirit turtle."
Vandy dissolved into dust. The genie was sucked back into his lamp, which Aussie threw on the ground and stomped on.
"Now what?' Song asked.
Rie shrugged. "We rebuild."
"We stay!?" Sylar said, shocked.
"Living Dead might not be perfect, it might be flooded and most of our friends are dead and gone, but still. It is kind of…our home."
"It's a sewer." Rai said.
"Yeah. But it's our sewer." Rie smiled. She tore off her clothing, revealing a white ball gown. "Time for a song. No theatrics, just…us."
Rie began to sing.
"When I think of home I think of a place Where there's love overflowing I wish I was home I wish I was back there With the things I've been knowing,"
Amy joined in.
"Wind that makes the tall grass bend into leaning Suddenly the raindrops that fall have a meaning Sprinkling the scene Makes it all clean"
Suddenly, everybody began to slowly sing backup for Rie, overcome with emotion.
"Maybe there's a chance for me to go back Now that I have some direction It sure would be nice to be back home Where there's love and affection"
"Then just maybe I can convince time to slow up Givin' me enough time in my life to grow up Time be my friend"
Let me start again," everybody sung together.
"Suddenly, my world has gone and changed its face, But I still know where I'm going I have had my mind spun around in space Yet I've watched it glowing" Rie sang.
Everybody joined in, linking arms.
"Oh if your listening, God, please don't make it hard To know if we should believe in the things that we see Tell us should we try and stay or should we run away Or would it be better just to let things be"
"Living here in this brand new realm Might be a fantasy Ooohh But it taught me to love, So it's real, real, real to me"
"And I've learned we must look, look Inside our hearts to find Yeah a world full of love Like yours, like mine Like home"
"Home!"
The end.
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