Post by Rai Chiller on Oct 31, 2010 13:32:59 GMT -6
Twas a dark cold night on the Living Dead RPG when a fright occurred.
Not a single soul could have predicted the horror that would emerge...
Not a single soul could have predicted the horror that would emerge...
A LIVING DEAD RPG HALLOWEEN FRIGHT![/size][/b][/center]
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The Cheating Part 1
Rai Chiller walked down his driveway into his house. He placed his hat on the couch and sat on the hat rack to watch his eyes from the television.
Five hours later, Rai started to realize something was wrong when he tried to drink glass in a cup of cranberry juice.
"Something appears to be horribly twisted around!"
Rai read the news and saw that a lake had drowned.
"The world appears to be topsy turvy!" He said.
Rai didn't look outside to notice the undead.
Yes! The undead! They were rising out of their caskets!
Rai jumped into his car and pulled his keys out of a basket.
"Something is gravely wrong, I must consult my fellow Merchant, Ace!"
Rai put his foot on the peddle and drove to Ace's place.
He ran over a zombie, but not just any old zed...
This zed just happened to not be undead!
So a zombie that's not undead, you may say...
Is simply not a zombie in any which way!
Correct, you would be, my dear readers that are really quite mean,
For this zombie just so happened to be Dean!
---
Dean's undead, baby
Dean got up from the pavement and brushed off the dirt.
He looked around and found that he was wearing a skirt.
"Well, shit." He sighed, in a furry-like way.
"It looks like the dead have risen today."
Just from behind him, a tiger was snarling.
This tiger just happened to be Rie's darling.
"Snowflake!" She said. "Prepare to pounce!"
Dean turned around and yelled "I'm not undead!"
"Oh, not undead you say? That's even better!
"for my tiger, dear Snowflake, is tired of zed platters!"
"Wait!" Yelled Dean, as he tried to cover his face.
The tiger pounced, and ripped open his beer case. (His spine)
Out shot the blood, all over Snowflake.
She licked her lips and clawed open his cake (Brain)
Zombies smelled this delicious fume and began to gather
"Uh, dear Snowflake? I think we better scatter!"
Rie skipped away, not waiting for dear Snowflake or Dean.
For Rie was really REALLY quite nasty and mean.
---
The Cheating Part 2
Rai opened the door to Ace's house.
What awaited inside was Rai's very own spouse.
"Mrs Merchant! Whatever are you doing in this place?"
"I'm sorry, dear Rai, but my heart belongs to Ace!"
Rai didn't hesitate a moment, and reached for a gun.
Mrs Merchant was crying and crying like a nun (Who stubbed her toe)
Rai loaded the gun and put in the bullets
Ace walked in with a hideous mullet.
"Gasp! Merchant Rai! Hide, my love!"
"It's too late." Said Rai. "You both totes have to die."
Mrs Merchant closed her eyes and awaited her fate
Ace on the other hand would not let Rai ruin their date.
He leaped in the air to stop Rai's murderin plan
but did not expect to get caught in the ceiling fan.
His blood sprayed all over the room.
His gray matter fell onto Mrs. Merchant's ex-groom.
Zombies began to gather around Rai,
and it seemed for a moment he was going to die.
But nay! There was salvation! A mexican doctor rode into the room!
He was riding a dragon, and the room was filled with a taco fume.
"Hop aboard, all ye who want to live!
"for Veta's come to help ye, and possibly rob ye. Hell, I don't know."
Mrs. Merchant began to grin, but then she found out.
They planned to let her die there like beached trout.
Rai started to chuckle, his face brightened.
for this cheating bitch was about to be bitten! (To death)
Veta and Rai somehow both got away
it appeared they were alive to fight another day
But poor Mrs. Merchant and Ace, their deaths cold and reserved,
It seems as though they both got what they deserved.
---
The T-files Part 1[/u]
THE PENTAGON, WASHINGTON D.C. 1995
"FBI Agent Tboner, please, take a seat." Tbone shakily took a step toward the desk and settled in the worn chair.
"Tboner, what the hell happened in Brownsville?" Commissioner Ace slammed the file in front of Tbone.
"Sir, I have reason to believe there are alien life-forms in Texas."
"Hello, they're right on the border of Mexico." Ace narrowed his eyebrows.
"No, I mean REAL aliens. From goddamn SPACE." Tboner explained, and pointed up to illustrate his point.
Ace slinked back into his chair and stroked his beard.
"You know we can't just have the Bureau investigate for every time you see a midget or a minority."
"I damn well know you can, and you do." Tboner slammed his palm on the desk.
Ace sighed, and opened the file again.
"Fine. I'll let you continue your investigation of aliens in Brownsville, but this time you're getting a goddamn partner to keep your ass in line."
Tboner gasped.
"Don't give me that look Agent Tboner, we need a man of SCIENCE to counter your crazy ass conspiracies and mysticism. That's why I'm calling in Agent Matty." At that moment, a man with a blazing white lab coat walked in. The room immediately smelled of science.
"Tboner."
"Matty."
"Tboner."
"That's enough unfunny video game references you two, I've booked you two tickets on the FBI super jet of science. It leaves in five minutes, so I'd haul ass." Ace started cackling.
Matt looked out the window.
"There's only one way."
Tboner shook his head. "My beard is too weak to break the glass!"
Matt narrowed his eyes and put on sunglasses of science.
"Boosh."
Tboner nodded in agreement.
"Boosh."
They both leaped out the window while Ace was still cackling, the entire pentagon exploded as they landed
in a fiery mushroom cloud remeniscent of Independence Day in slow motion that lasted about four minutes.
"GET THE FUCK ON RIGHT NOW." The pilot roared on the loud speakers, his voice was that of a muppet.
Kong.
The plane was already starting to take off. Matty looked around and saw Airforce 1 being boarded right now. It was now or never. Tbone pulled out his gun and shot everyone boarding including President Clinton. Matty snapped the neck of the pilot and began take-off procedures. Tboner settled in the co-pilot seat.
"I have no idea how to fly these things." Tbone said.
"That's okay, neither do I."
Matt pulled up on the steering thing and the plane began to lurch forward. It ran over the bodies of Hillary and Bill Clinton as well as their secret service agents and their heads exploded, blood smeared on the windshield.
"Shit, why doesn't airforce 1 have windshield wipers?" Tbone gasped.
"Because not even wipers could clean off the bullshit of their LIES."
Tbone opened the door docking door, they were already in the air. He stuck his head out and saw a foothold, then he climbed to the front of the plane. He used Hillary's head to wipe off the blood and soak in the stains, then gave the thumbs up to Matt who was still in the cockpit.
The Super jet of science was in sight now. Tboner prepared to jump onto it from the top of Airforce one, Matt could tell what the plan was too. He set the plane to self-destruct mode, which gave them thirty seconds to jump on the other plane and escape before they all died a gruesome, bloody, and horrifically awesome death. Matt climbed on the side of the wing. Kong could see them on his rear view mirror and pulled up beside Airforce 1.
Tbone jumped on first, he landed on the wing which caused the plane to destabilize for a moment, but then Kong pulled up at an angle to compensate for Tbone's fat ass.
Matt prepares to jump, but he knew he couldn't make it. He pulled out his parachute of science and gave the thumbs up to Tbone, who had just saw the Dark Knight and knew what he was going to do. Tboner climbed into the plane and took over pilot duties from Kong by snapping his neck. Matt jumped off the plane and engaged his parachute just as Airforce 1 exploded in a marvelous display of pink and purple fireworks. The parachute latched onto the bottom of the Super Jet of Science and they were on their way to brownsville.
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