Post by Roj проk on Jan 18, 2011 18:26:00 GMT -6
EPISODIO UNO: LOS AVENTUREROS DESPERTAR!
Chuck looked around his surrounding wearily. "Fortune city? Moar lyke fortune SHITTY"
Suddenly a homie sprang up from behind him. It was TK, lord and master of all! Not to be confused with his broski Three Dawg, who was living in Resident Evil Extinction at the time. Anyway TK latched onto Chuck's face like a black person to something not nailed down. Well actually, that's exactly what happened. So I guess it's not so much a simile as an actual description of what was happening.
"Le gaspah!" Chuck struggled with this zombie. It seemed as though all his powah he had earned grinding before by killing LaShawndra and Gordon had washed away in the sands of cutscene hell.
"somebody HALLLLLLLP MEEEEEEEE" Chuck screeched out like a white person being eaten by a zombie that happens to be a gameshow host and black.
Just when all hope had appeared to have been lost in the previous paragraph, a baseball bat uppercutted TK and sent him flying trillions of miles into the mesosphere until he hit the moon and landed back in his MC hammer commercial.
"Nevar did like that show anywayz." A voice from in front of Chuck called.
"LOL thats funny cuz you just killed him"
"But he waz already ded"
"omg man, thats som deep shit." suddenly the man held up the baseball bat to Chuck's throat like some retard with a nerf sword. Srsly, how would you kill him? Puncture his throat with a baseball bat?
"lotsa peeps want yo face on their wall because you maed the zawmbies here. i could totes get mirrons of dollahs if I raeped you right here, right noaw."
"So then why didn't you just let TK kill me and then take credit after the firebombing?"
">_>"
"I c"
"ya, it's complicated."
"Also how did you land a helicopter five seconds after the helicopter with my daughter and pseudo girlfriend left without them noticing? Or even me noticing?"
"Rebecca Chang? She.... She died?"
"What?"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
"That slutty bitch ho? Was she your hooker or something?"
"Nah, she was back up ho. Y'all mean?"
"Totes." Chuck totes did not know, as he slept with the first woman he ever met and never looked back.
"Well I need someone to go with me to the phenotrain facility to the WEST."
"Tha WEST?"
"Ya, the WEST."
"Liek as in the opposite direction of EAST?"
"I mean WEST."
"True dat yo, WEST is tha BEST. Y'all mean?"
"Totes."
"Lets fukkin GTFO here." The man with teh baseball bat pointed to the helicopter positioned on the vertical side of the building.
"Look buddy, I don't ride helicopters with strangers who tried to rape me with baseball bats. Not since..."
"I understand. My name is Frank...
FRANK WESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
"Nice try buddy, but you're a tub of lard."
Not the same Frank, but dear God. Close enough.
"Nice try buddy, but you're a tub of lard."
Not the same Frank, but dear God. Close enough.
"Well fuck you, I have ambition! Now lets CRASH THIS PARTAY"
"Whatever you say, blubbo."
""
MOMENTS LATER...