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Post by PirateWolf12 on Jul 22, 2011 19:56:05 GMT -6
Every Time Something Happens To Me It's Some Kind of Madness Cover page by Rai The Merchant. He saved the Earth. A lot. Coming soon...Follow the adventures of Candy Vandy, vampire satanist and Slytherin student, and her best friend Rojjetta as they get up to no good at Hogwarts castle.Please note this: The characters of Candy Vandy, Rojjetta, Pinky Rie-Kie and any others are references in name only. You're not really being portrayed in this. Which in all honestly is probably for the best.
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Post by PirateWolf12 on Jul 23, 2011 8:42:18 GMT -6
Chapter One: The Misfortunate Morning of Mourning. The sun lazily rose over Hogwarts castle, though Candy Vandy Volper Woelzlein Toupe would never know. She would never know for several reasons: Firstly, she was a Slytherin student - sixth year to be exact - and as such her dormitory was fittingly located in the dungeons of the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Secondly, she was gothic, and if there was one thing to depress a goth more aside from smiling infants and flowers in full bloom, it was sunlight. Lastly, but perhaps most importantly, she was a vampire. Her pale skin was quite photosensitive to ultraviolet light and she found it best to avoid in the morning, spending her sleeping nights in an ebony cheery wood coffin, perched upon a slab of marble. Though her teachers argued this practice was unnecessary due to the location of the Slytherin living areas, she continued to sleep sealed in it as it matched her personality: dark, depressing, and shallow. Only once did a member of staff, Professor McGonagall, attempt to take it away. Candy Vandy's famous mother was at the school at once, ready to raise hell. After this memorable event, she was free to pretend she was dead - truly dead - as much as she wanted by sleeping in that ebony cherry wood coffin. Suddenly, the alarm clock between Candy Vandy's coffin and the bed next to hers emitted its high pitched whine, waking the two girls. "Whattoday?" Spat out the girl in the bed, Rojjetta Adebayo Papadopoulos-Adebayo (a surname obtained from "keeping it in the family", something the more "pure" magical folk liked to practice). Perhaps not as gothic as her best friend Candy Vandy, Rojjetta shared a similar personality and outlook on life. Who needs sunshine when you have a perfectly good razor blade? The answer was Rojjetta did. She was not a vampire, and much to her annoyance she would die without it. "Huh?" Candy Vandy asked, opening her coffin. "It's Wednesday." Rojjetta sighed. "Oh, Satan! Say it isn't so." Candy Vandy cried. "Two hours of Herbology." "Hogsmeade?" Rojjetta asked, checking herself in the mirror. She had fallen asleep with her makeup on. Her black braided hair matching her dark skin was in its typical fastidious state. "Maybe after. I need a plant for a ceremony I want to perform. If I don't want to gain anymore attention from that dirty bitch or the creepy janitor, Filth, I'll probably have to go to class and steal it then." Candy Vandy said. "Another lifetime of agonising misery in that class, learning about disgusting plants that infect this awful earth. Oh Satan, I wish we had Dark Arts class here." Candy Vandy was relishing in the stories her mother had told her about in her schooling days at Durmstrang Institute. Whilst it wasn't her mother's intention, the stories of cruel wizards and the embracing of the dark arts had enthralled and aroused Candy Vandy. But, alas, her mother refused to send her there. She looked in the dorm room's mirror. Her purple hair was in a mess and the green glow from the lighting of the room did not do wonders for her skin. "If we don't want to wait, we better get to the showers now." Rojjetta said. "Oh, Satan. Keen to see me naked?" "Nah, you're not my type." Rojjetta said, not missing a beat. "Oh, did Dumbledore say something about wanting to conserve water?" "Pfft. There's spells to create it from thin air. But…I guess we don't want to get into trouble." ***** After an hour long shower followed by thirty minutes of makeup application, the two girls were ready to head upstairs. The castle was built like a maze (A maze that at the blink of an eye changed pathways). After several flights of stairs, a bridge, three hallways, two galleries and a room dedicated to portraits of famous witches and wizards, including the cast of Absolutely Fabulous, the two had finally reached the Grand Staircase Tower, name deserved. Prominent to the eye, it towered over the castle. Inside laid the main thoroughfare for the students, the stairs arranged in a confusing array of horizontal rows leading to different storeys. Six years at the school had helped them memorise an otherwise tedious journey to get to the Great Hall, the area where they gathered to eat (though Candy Vandy preferred blood to food). "Guess what's opening up in Hogsmeade soon!" Rojjetta said, excitement clear in her voice. "Hot Topic!?" Candy Vandy squealed. They were walking past the Gryffindor table, where Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Libby The, and the most preppie girl Candy Vandy had the misfortune to meet, Pinky Rie-Kie, sat eating. At the mention of Hot Topic, they looked up with confusion and then disgust as the two gothic girls walked past. Without missing a second, both raised their middle finger at the table and continued with their conversation as if nothing was out of the ordinary. "Close," Rojjetta said. "A gothic dark arts and leather clothing specialty shops. I hear the owner also has a place Knockturn Alley." "There's a great shop there that sells leather and lace. It's where I got this totally hot outfit from." She smirked. The outfit was basically a low cut sleeveless dress made from leather, fishnet stockings covering her arms and legs. Candy Vandy was the only student to continuously refuse to dress in school uniform, instead taking the detentions dished out by her female teachers and the dirty sleazy looks given by the male ones. They sat down at the Slytherin table with their dorm mates Flora and Hestia Carrow, two twins who could give the 'The Shining' ghost twins a run for their money. She had told this joke to several of her friends who had never read muggle literature and instead only returned blank and confused faces. Candy Vandy concluded they were faggy preppies and would never be as underground as she was. She was the girl at the back of emo muggle concerts, facing away from the crowd, listening to the same song being played on iPod. The music knew how she felt, but it would have been better live. No, they'd never be as underground and cool as Candy Vandy Volper Woelzlein Toupe. Noah Runcorn, the Scottish son of a high ranking Ministry employee, sat down with them. Though not a vampire nor even goth, the Slytherin boy got along with his fellow gothic classmates, at least on a friendly basis. As friendly as you could get with Candy Vandy, anyway. He was one of the two Slytherin student in sixth year to be taking Potions, the other being Candy Vandy. They were the only ones who had the grades. "Have you worked out the secret ingredient for that death potion yet," he asked Candy Vandy. "My soul." She whispered. Rojjetta nodded, mascara tears running down her face. "...So, no? Oh God-" "Satan." Candy Vandy interjected. "Here he comes." Noah said, ignoring her. The Carrow twins had already spotted him and had vanished into a crowd. "Hi Candy Vandy." It was Ron. Not Ron Weasley, not anymore anyway. Ron Crying Tree was his new name. The epitome of a poser. "Hi...Ron. I see you dyed your hair black." Candy Vandy said. "It matches the inner pain I now constantly feel." He was referring to a new romance that had blossomed between Harry Potter and Hermione Granger. He felt betrayed, depressed... goth. Candy Vandy just felt pissed, because he now decided they were alike. Lost souls. He latched onto Candy Vandy and Rojjetta like a parasite. He changed his name, he cut himself, he spent all his free time writing sad poems, suicide letters, sappy songs. The things Candy Vandy did! The thief! He had even appealed to the Sorting Hat, asking to be put in Slytherin instead of Gryffindor to match his new outlook on life. He was given a response along the lines of it being the single most retarded thing the hat had heard. Dumbledore gave a similar response. So Ron Crying Tree stayed in Gryffindor, forced to endure the romance between Hermione and Harry. He'd probably end up with Ginny. "I painted a picture representing my inner turmoil." Ron Crying Tree said. "I have to go!" Noah said, pushing his uneaten food away and walking off to his next class. "Ron, w- Oh." Candy Vandy said, surprised. "That's deep. Emotional." "I call it Reflections in a disturbed pond." It was a picture of Ron looking into a swampy pond, seeing not his reflection but him instead crying tears of blood, and blood was dripping from his mouth, and his nostrils, and blood pouring from his ears and out of his scalp and judging from the texture of his shirt, his nipples were not in high spirits either. "That makes me want to write poetry." Rojjetta said. "About how my people in Africa are nearly as miserable and down on life as me," she said, despite never having been to Africa and being from a magical wealthy family that had lived in London for four generations. "Do you want to sit with us and discuss things that make us depressed?" Candy Vandy asked, discovering a soul nearly as tormented as her own. "Yes." Ron said, sitting down. Candy Vandy was about to eat her meal of muggle blood mixed with muggle children's blood when someone slipped and bumped into her, making her drop the knife she was somehow eating with onto her new clothes. "Glock glock, bitch!" She cried, grabbing the steak knife and suddenly cutting the cheek of the person who bumped her. She regretted her savage attack, as she had tainted the wonderful face of Draco Malfoy, an equally gothic, smart, attractive and wealthy individual as herself. He was in his final year and owned a car. A car that could talk."Hi Candy Vandy." He said, not at all phased by his bleeding cheek. He cut himself so much he probably didn't even notice. "Hi Draco," Candy Vandy said, indifferent like always. "I don't know if you know, but my dad used the Imperius Curse on My Chemical Romance so that they'd play in Hogsmeade tomorrow night. Do you want to go?" "KAWAIIII!" Candy Vandy responded, pronouncing the one Japanese word she knew incorrectly.
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Post by AceTheMercenary on Jul 23, 2011 12:08:20 GMT -6
omg epic
Will there be musicals? Or is this mostly just going to be a tribute of some sort to My Immortal?
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Post by Traveling Riverside Roj on Jul 23, 2011 15:59:36 GMT -6
omg epic Will there be musicals? Or is this mostly just going to be a tribute of some sort to My Immortal? Aussie told me that there would be no muscials. Dun dun duuuuun.
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Post by PirateWolf12 on Jul 23, 2011 23:53:58 GMT -6
It may have musical numbers, but not on the scale of the Lemon or even the RPG.
I've began the second chapter! BUT I WON'T POST UNTIL I GET AT LEAST FIVE GOOD REVIEWS. >: [
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Post by Rai Chiller on Jul 24, 2011 1:14:37 GMT -6
User Reviews[/size] 23 July 2011 | by Lord Winklefart III (U.K.) - See all my reviews[/url] One day I was walking through the woods after my weekly tea time, when I couldn't help but notice an abandoned old school. I walked up to the school and pulled out a suspicious looking brick, hoping to find some leftover porn magazines left by some rascally little chavs. Fortunately, it wasn't a naked photo of Will's mom. Unfortunately, it was a wordbook. I decided to read it anyway, regardless of the mind-numbingly perplexing title, and was rewarded with one of the greatest adaptations of Tara Gilesby's work in centuries. The characters were so vivid and lifeless, the setting so original and breathtaking, I orgasmed seven times describing it in this review. I suggest it to all fans of Tara Gilesby, and wholeheartedly also suggest reading this to one's children. I cannot wait for the next chapter! ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 3 out of 0 people found this review helpful. Was this review helpful to you? [Yes] [No]24 July 1943 | by Old Man Fucktard (U.S.A.) - See all my reviews[/url] Once upon a time when I was a boy I used to skip down to the old bakery and... Uh... Where was I? Ah yes, I used to skip down to candy shop and leave flaming shit on Larry Fargus's doorstep. Is it pudding day already? No, I'm fine without the diaper today. Ooh, is that my grandson? Charlie! Come over here! Zzzzz... rsgvkoprweewcasd wd awesdip what? sorry, fell asleep on the typewriter again. Promise I won't harass the children again nurse Amber. What? some newfangled television that can read my thoughts? no, I don't know about anything to do with tiara gillsbee, leave me alone! ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________ eight out of potato people found this review helpful. Was this review helpful to you? [Yes] [No]24 July 2011 | by Harry Wang (China) - See all my reviews[/url] This book bring many dishonor upon family, and was banned in the republic. I say good riddance! And furthermore, I- Wait... What? I wasn't using proboards, honorable police. I swear! You can't do this to me! I AM HARRY WA[This message was removed by the request of Chairman Meow :3] ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 1,331,459,999 out of 1,331,460,000 people found this review helpful. Was this review helpful to you? [Yes] [No]21 December 2012 | by Fat Goth Kid ( ) - See all my reviews[/url] This book speaks to my tortured and burning soul in words you mortals cannot comprehend. It is the alpha and the omega, the end of all human morals. The author, pyretwulf11, is to be applauded. I would applaud myself, but that last prep I ate is still digesting. When I read the chapter about Satan I played guitar angstly for hours hoping that our dark lord could see this, were he not too busy recording his next MCR album. If I were to deem this literary masterpiece with a number, it would be -666, the highest honor anything can receive that's not a novel by Stephanie Meyer. The book came with a free knife and makeup kit, for Satan's sakes! ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 6 out of 66 people found this review helpful. Was this review helpful to you? [Yes] [No]7 July 2007 | by xXmomshotlolipodDMR6969Xx (U.S.A) - See all my reviews[/url] lol aftur serchin 4 a buk 2 red 4 mi readin clas in skool i fownd tis fukin buk lol. mi mom tryed 2 stop me frum redin it butt its 2 good lol mi fav pert is wen te buk waz over cuz tehn i culd go bak 2 cod lmao XD its sorta funy wen vandi trys 2 kut herself butt also sorta hawt i gues rofl i lerned how 2 masterbait frum thes buk so i wuld sugjust every1 in mrs dickensens class red it 2 cuz its only 1 chap long so u wont hav 2 red much 2 get a gud grade on tha test lol ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 0 out of 6,979,342,507 people found this review helpful. Was this review helpful to you? [Yes] [No]25 December 20XX | by Dead baby smasher (Aus.) - See all my reviews[/url] So I was walking through the local adult tara gilesby book store located next to the elementary school when I found this gem of a novel. At least I thought it was a gem until I hit play and a dozen vandys were flung into my face like a bunch of attention depraved pitbulls on a innocent mailman that smells like candy. Nonetheless I continued reading the book until my children came home from jail and learned what a pinga feels like. After finishing the book while taking various breaks to shit, I took the liberty of writing down every single name in the cover and plan to shit in their bed at some point. I returned the book and got a full refund after making the entire staff of the book store burn it thrice in a row, I even got a free copy of 'Matt's guide to being sexy and fit for life' for all my trouble. Thanks Uwe Boll! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 142 out of 629 people found this review helpful. Was this review helpful to you? [Yes] [No]
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Post by PirateWolf12 on Jul 24, 2011 7:00:44 GMT -6
Okay, I'm good to go. Updates coming soon. I might also start a character thread with pics. Maybe.
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Post by PirateWolf12 on Jul 25, 2011 3:55:44 GMT -6
Chapter 2: Rootrot and Voodoo Economics "I'm so jealous." Rojjetta said, her fingers covered in dirt. "My Chemical Romance with Draco. He's so…he's so deep." "He gets me." Candy Vandy said matter-of-factly, smoothing the top layer of soil in the pot plant with her pale fingers, dirtying the black nail polish she wore. "If my life wasn't so full of never ending pain and woe, I might actually be excited!" They had it all figured out. They'd finish up their Herbology work quickly, sneak out the back window and go to Hogsmeade for new clothes. It was fool proof! "EARMUFFS, GIRL!" Shrieked Professor Sprout, professor of Herbology. "It messes up my hair!" Candy Vandy protested. "And they only have it in faggy preppy colours. Besides, I'm a vampire goth, so I'm pretty sure I'm immune. Also-" "Enough! Ten points from Slytherin! Listen here, Miss Vandy-" "Vandy is part of my first name-" "I don't care! We are dealing with serious plants here. You might have a grade point average of Outstanding and be the most underground and 'with it' person here, but these Mandrakes have the power to causes seizures to persons, vampire or not, with unprotected hearing! Sixth year is serious, pull your head in. And immediately after class, go change into the uniform." She walked off to deal with a Hufflepuff boy who was being strangled by a tentacled plant. Hufflepuffs were such pathetic creatures. Why, if Candy Vandy was sorted in to them she'd have immediately staked herself. "Meh, fat bitch, I'm gonna get her." Candy Vandy spat, but decided to put on the baby blue ear protection. She ripped up the screaming plant from a large ceramic pot. It was a hideous plant, but not in the gothic, depressing way she fancied. It was like a bonsai tree, but it had a face. A face now contorted in pain. She grimaced at it, ugly in its nakedness. She immediately crammed it into a pot five sizes to small for the plant. "Get in!" She said, before picking up a hacksaw and cutting off the plant's legs. This only made it wail more. Finally she had enough leverage and crammed it in, Rojjetta immediately piling on dirt to silence the horrid creature. "Well done, Candy Vandy, Rojjetta. First to complete, as usual. This is the way you put it in, nice and gently and deep. Remember to smooth over the dirt! We can't have trenches throughout it. I believe an Outstanding is in order for you, Miss...Toupe." "Yet, but my soul is still in pain." Rojjetta gave an empathetic nod. Her soul, too, felt like it was being torn into a million pieces as it was being raped. "What about my grade?" "Hmm?" "My Outstanding." "Oh, yes. You get an Exceeds Expectations." Professor Sprout said, pursing her lips together in annoyance. "But I-" "Ten points from Slytherin! Don't argue, Miss Adebayo Papadopoulos-Adebayo!" She said, and walked back off to save another Hufflepuff from getting eaten by a gigantic venus flytrap. "I expect you girls to stay and write an essay on the proper care of the Rafflesia." Candy Vandy turned to her friend. "Ready to go to Hogsmeade?" "I suppose," Rojjetta replied. The two began to sneak out the back, Professor Sprout distracted by their more 'Hufflepuff' classmates. They were well cloaked until they passed a table where three Gryffindor girls sat. Candy Vandy cringed. The three preppy Gryffindors immediately turned to stare at the creeping emos. Candy Vandy instantly recognised two of them, her sworn enemies. Libby The, a tiny blonde-from-a-potion-dye Vietnamese girl with two much bronzer smirked. Next to her sat Pinky Rie-Kie, a tall bespectacled prefect whose bubblegum pink hair made the two gothic girls dizzy with rage. "Well, look what we have here, girls. Truancy. Off to sacrifice a first year?" Libby The said, her hands crawling around a pot of dirt. Out of habit, Rojjetta and Candy Vandy immediately stuck their middle fingers up at them, though Candy Vandy was quickly reminded that she indeed had to steal a Diacon flower for the exact purpose of a ritual sacrifice. They slowly lowered their offending fingers. "I'm surprised someone has yet to impale a stake through your chest, Candy Vandy. Especially when you go creeping around like that to go do your girlfriend!" Pinky Rie-Kie snickered. Candy Vandy was about to barrage her with a tsunami of insults when she saw that it would be useless. They each had their earmuffs on. Libby The was about to pull her Mandrake out. Candy Vandy quickly put hers own in, Rojjetta following her action. She had a plan, she always did. "Accio Ganguro preppie bitch's earmuffs!" Candy Vandy shouted, her wand out and pointing at the table. In a flash Libby The's ear muffs were in her hand and the mandrake was yanked out. It immediately began to shriek. Libby The, without her ear protection, collapsed and began to convulse on the floor. Her two friends rushed to help her, screaming for Professor Sprout. Candy Vandy and Rojjetta made a run for it, Rojjetta leading the way to the small wooden room in the back. It housed numerous supplies, as well as a wall covered in a strange purple flower, spotted with red stars. It was beautiful, but potentially poisonous like Oleander. She grabbed a few of the bulbs and followed her best friend out the window, taking care not to rip her leather dress. ***** The two girls ran through the castle, laughing as they practically flew across and through the empty corridors. A figure suddenly moved out from around a corner. They both stopped, wondering if they could get away with cursing a teacher's memory. Nothing was more important right now than finding some with just the right amount of lace for that goddamn concert tomorrow night! Luckily for the girls, it wasn't a professor. "Excuse me," the man said. "I'm looking for Professor Snape's office." Candy Vandy took in his features. He had tanned olive skin, darker than Candy Vandy's but not the ebony shade of Rojjetta's. If she were to guess, she would say he was Italian or Native American. One of those sinful cultures normally not found in the prestigious wizarding school of Hogwarts. But there was something else about him. Something different. "Do you party?" Rojjetta asked. "I beg your pardon?" He said. His sharp canine teeth reminded Candy Vandy of her own, though not nearly as sharp, long, and covered in dried crimson blood. "Do you party?" Rojjetta said. "We party." "No?" he said. "My name is Jacob. I'll be working as the new Potions professor's assistant. I just need to find an-" But Rojjetta and Candy Vandy had already walked off, leaving him lost and confused. Candy Vandy would remember his odd eyes, almost canine in their shape and colour. She hoped he'd be the only Native American or Italian to darken the castle with his presence, but she still felt a tinge of worry in her blackened, choking heart. A few corridors later, they had emerged in the Defence Against The Dark Arts tower, towards the top floor. Walking down the circular stairs that ran the perimeter and made them dizzy, they were glad to finally arrive at the stone statue of Gunhilda of Gorsemoor on the ground level. Gunhilda was a hideous one eyed witch with a hunchback. "She looks like that Harry Potter fag." Rojjetta said. "She's too underground for that preppy scum." Candy Vandy spat. She loathed Harry Potter. "You know, I kinda want to party with that Italian thing." "I want to party with her," Rojjetta replied, motioning towards the statue. " Dissendium." She tapped her wand on the statue's hump. Immediately, it began to open. The two girls climbed down into the darkness. ***** "Did I ever tell you about the time I did a dementor?" Candy Vandy asked. The two girls were walking down Main Street of Hogsmeade, the secret passageway leading them to the heart of the small village. It was a cheery sight, the houses with their towering rooves covered in snow thanks to the perpetual winter season that infected the town. "He was the only one that got me, you know?" "They have genders?" "I don't really know. But this one liked to party. And he had a car." "Draco has a car." "He is pretty deep, isn't he?" Suddenly, an elderly wizard with a long beard turned to the two girls. "Shouldn't you be in class?" "SHOULDN'T YOU BE SUCKIN' MAH DICK!?" Candy Vandy yelled, pointing her wand and middle finger out at the man, Rojjetta following suit. He turned and hurried off into the pub. "Anyway," Candy Vandy said. "Satan knows this concert is going to be underground. Only the truly damaged will attend. Who are you going with?" "I can't." Rojjetta said. "I have detention, you know, for cutting off that Ravenclaw girl's scalp for that sacrifice to Lord Hecate?" "You should have just taken her blood like I did." Suddenly Candy Vandy stopped. A sign covered in cobwebs advertised a shop named 'Top Hopic'. It was pointing down a dark and desolate alleyway. "OH. EM. EFFING. GEE." Candy Vandy cried. "I don't remember this being here," Rojjetta said. "WE SO HAVE TO GO IN AND SHOPLIFT FROM THERE." The two ran down the twisting alley, past wild tomcats and abandoned and broken magical artefacts until they stopped at the small store front of Top Hopic, blanketed in steam emitted from a nearby open manhole. It looked like it had been abandoned for a few years. If they were anyone else, they'd have been suspicious, but all they wanted was a shirt with a picture of Jack Skellington on it and a leather skirt four inches to short. Maybe a matching Emily The Strange bag. Yeah, that would be hot. They had needs that had to be satisfied, you see. The bell at the door rang as they let themselves in, their eyes feasting on the treasures they saw before them. It was like a regular Hot Topic, a shop where culture came to die and all the shirts had pictures of razor blades on them. In several seconds Candy Vandy had her arms full of clothing, whilst Rojjetta was eye-sexing some boots that went up to the nipples. She looked at a picture of Emily Strange on a shirt, which magically raised her middle finger at her. Candy Vandy squealed and returned the gesture, giving a rare smile. "Can I help you?" A man said. He wasn't the regular pierced and dyed individual that generally worked behind the counter by staring with contempt at all of his customers. He looked normal. Sort of. He appeared human, dark parted hair and even darker piercing eyes. His skin seemed odd, though. Somewhat opaque, like a printer running out of ink. "My name is Tom Riddl-. Tom Ridd, the owner of this…apothecary? How may I be of service to you…Candy…" He wheezed, evil basically dripping from his face. "IT'S CANDY VANDY." Candy Vandy roared, assuming the stranger knew her name because of how gothic she was and not from a more sinister way. Many store clerks at…"apothecaries" did. "I will be trying on this!" She said, holding up several dresses. "NO DISTURBIE." Several minutes passed and Candy Vandy was dressed to the gothic nines, viewing herself in the change room mirror. "Oh my Satan!" Cried Rojjetta. "Girl, you look hot!" "It's perfect for my date!" Candy Vandy said. "You look so beautiful in that." Tom Ridd said, his snake-like tongue darting in and out of his mouth in a wonderfully inappropriate fashion. "Voodoo economics. It's a…phrase I use for when I give free outfits to girls because they wear them so well. Please, take it for free." "Oh, it looks like we won't have to be shop lifting any more!" Candy Vandy cried. Tom Ridd's eyes gleamed red in evil satisfaction, but neither of the girls noticed. "Do come back soon," he said to Candy Vandy, before vanishing into a cloud of smoke. "Kawaiiii!" Candy Vandy squealed (incorrectly), holding her hand up in a peace sign directed at nothing in particular.
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Post by Veta on Jul 25, 2011 10:07:40 GMT -6
Omg so epic, I lol'd the most at Rojjetta being black and wanting to shoplift.
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Post by Traveling Riverside Roj on Jul 25, 2011 11:22:56 GMT -6
Omg so epic, I lol'd the most at Rojjetta being black and wanting to shoplift. Does everything have to be about race with you? Jesus Christ. I found it funny, Auzzy, and my opinion matters more than Veta's cuz I've got love for the black woman.
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Post by Rai Chiller on Jul 25, 2011 11:43:40 GMT -6
This is sexcellent, but when will I be in the story? D:
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Post by PirateWolf12 on Jul 25, 2011 17:26:12 GMT -6
Thanks, guys! =3
@veta and Roj Now, now. No racism here. Both Candy Vandy and Rojjetta were planning on shop lifting. That's the goffik thing to do, you see. Five fingered discount.
@rai Maybe. Maybe you were the old wizard or the preppy Gryffindor girl! Well, you weren't, but I'll see. Nobody from here is really featured in the story though, just that I lifted part of their names. But I'll see how I go.
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Post by PirateWolf12 on Jul 29, 2011 20:39:17 GMT -6
Chapter 3: I Follow Rivers "Draught of Living Death is one of the, if not the most, potent sleeping potions known." Severus Snape, potions master and all around greasy haired bastard said. "When made correctly it can put the drinker into a trance mimicking death. Apparently, your headmaster believes it to be a fine substance for sixteen year olds to brew. Never the less, remember that any student found abusing this potion will face immediate expulsion." Candy Vandy was in Potions class, a miserable and dank classroom located in the dungeons. Naturally, it was one of her favourite places in the school. It was as if the room spoke to her soul. The jars of dead creatures and glowing mixtures, the few small windows overlooking the cliffs. It was truly bliss. "My assistant will be bringing around the materials needed. Follow along the text book. It is not difficult, this is Advanced Potions." Snape said with disdain evident in his voice. But he always spoke like that, his voice full of unadulterated loathing and an overuse of emphasisms on words. He seemed to hate the other houses as much as Candy Vandy, as well as a special detestation for Harry Potter. Combined with his attitude, clothing, and poisonous personality, Candy Vandy wondered if he was a tortured soul just like her. Not that she'd ever be caught dead with some fake and old poser, not in a million years. He gave her creepy looks and she was certain that wasn't his wand in his robes. She sighed. It was just one of the many stings of being unimaginably attractive and perfect at everything. "Begin," Snape said, his lips pinched together in disgust. The class was small. Unless you received the highest grade and could put up with Snape hurling abuse at you for whatever reason (unless you were a Slytherin), you would not be eligible to take the class. Rojjetta had only received an Exceeds Expectations, and instead decided to take Astronomy. Not wanting to be a pathetic loner, Candy Vandy sat with her fellow Slytherin peer Noah Runcorn and the only attending Hufflepuff, Alaska Nebraska. Candy Vandy did not care for Alaska Nebraska. Firstly, Hufflepuff's were only slightly above those preppy dick Gryffindors, who in turns were on the level of cow waste, the French, try hards, burn victims, seagulls, and Hagrid. But for some reason Noah liked her, so Candy Vandy tolerated her. "Who's the new assistant?" Alaska Nebraska asked, pulling back her dark hair. "Oh, I hope he isn't Transylvanian. That's the last thing our school needs." Noah said. Alaska laughed. Candy Vandy looked up. It was him. Jackaroo? Jacovsky? Jackowister? Better Stay Down Chack? She couldn't remember his name, just his unusual eyes. He was at a table that sat three Ravenclaw students, the non-social nerds, handing each some ingredients. As he made his way to where a Gryffindor boy (who Candy Vandy had yet to hate) sat with that bitch Libby The (who had also since recovered from her seizure), Candy Vandy tried to think of something to say. "I heard there's some concert on tonight." Noah said, his voice full of disinterest. "Only the greatest band ever." Candy Vandy said. "I torrented all their music. Plus, I have a poster of Gerard Way in my coffin. He's so fit. Clearly I'm the biggest fan of his since ever." "Oh." Alaska Nebraska said politely, not understanding what Candy Vandy was on about. "Yeah, I'm going with Draco. But I'll probably dump him if Gerard asks me out, which he'll likely do. I love him. Let's just say this, I'd Dementor-snog his soul out then have sex with the corpse." "Wow." Noah said, blinking. "Yeah." Candy Vandy continued. "Corpses are the only people that get me, you know? Like, I just wish I could be with them. Corpses are pretty cool. Did I tell you the time I was naked in the Hogsmeade Graveyard and-" "Here's your ingredients." The assistant said. He began placing trays and jars of various magical items and substances in front of them. "Oh, thank God." Noah said, relieved. Candy Vandy ignored him. Instead, she stared at the assistant. Something was not right about him. Not right at all. His eyes glanced up at her as he placed the last items out. "Are you also a vampire?" She spat. Noah and Alaska looked at her, stunned. Unlike Rojjetta, both seemed to show some discomfort in her blood sucking ways and usually refrained from talking about her taboo. "No, actually, I'm a -" He said, before being cut off. "Oh. Fine, don't worry. Be gone, we have work to do." Candy Vandy said, immediately turning to her small black and metal cauldron. He walked away, disappointed. The potion wasn't overly complicated, not for an expert like her. Crush this, drain this, bleed into that, add that, stir seven times clock wise, one anti-clockwise. Voila. Within less than an hour she had a perfect cauldron full of murky black date-rape liquid. She was glad to see that virgin slut dyke Libby The having trouble, as well as the other Gryffindor prep. Snape immediately deducted twenty points from her house for being so terrible. Candy Vandy looked over at boiling liquids of Alaska's and Noah's potions. They didn't have the same thick and rich consistency hers did, nor did they smell like a piling of burning Justin Bieber CDs. But still exceptional, especially compared to what she could see from the others. She smiled to herself. She still reigned supreme. Oh, she was going to drain a first year dry tonight in celebration! "Well done, Candy Vandy." Snape said, his voice still full of disappointment and angst. "If only your lesser peers shared your talent." He glared at the other two tables, the Gryffindor one now on fire and being doused by his new assistant. "I believe an Outstanding grade is in order." He said. Noah received an Outstanding too, probably because of Snape's bias towards Slytherin house. It was the start of what would be an eventful and memorable evening. ***** Finally the sun set, darkness was long welcomed by Candy Vandy. With her new outfit, a razor blade hidden in her purple dyed hair, some drugs, and a vile of Draught of Living Death, Candy Vandy was ready. Sneaking out of Hogwarts School wasn't too difficult of a task once you got the hang of it. But she wasn't going through a secret passage tonight. She walked out of the clock tower, through an ancient and vine-covered courtyard and across the covered bridge, a wooden structure ready to collapse at a moment's notice. Down a hill she arrived at the edge of the forbidden forest. She could hear the eerie sounds of unseen creatures lurking in the darkness. "Hi, Candy Vandy." Draco said. Candy turned and smiled. Draco was dressed in an MCR shirt, his hair streaked with black and pyjama pants covered in skulls. To anyone else, he'd appear as an utter douche that you'd want to gangbash. To Candy Vandy, he was a beautiful creature. "Hi, Draco." She said. "So, are we walking?" "Walking? That's for preps and the disabled. My dad got me a flying car in some auction." A car emerged from the forest. It was a luxury black hearse, Candy Vandy's favourite mode of muggle travel. It had 666XXX on the number plate. "Because I'm extreme and Satanic," Draco said when he saw Candy Vandy staring at it. "It's so original and gloomy. I admire and compliment it." She said. "Shall we?" ***** As they flew across the night skies, Candy Vandy and Draco partook in meth, ex, crack, dust, coke, block, crystal, and gin and juice. They flew in circles over fields and mountains, woods and lochs. When they were good and ready, they landed on the outskirts of the village. Like most tiny settlements populated purely by magical folk in remote mountainous areas, the stadium dedicated to muggle alternate rock-punk-emo bands was lacking in some places, like for example, existing. Instead, the couple walked to a small amphitheatre in a paved plaza, the surrounding stores and houses seemingly abandoned. "OH. MY. GOD." Candy Vandy yelped, her fangs popping out in excitement. There he was, Gerard Way. He was more perfect than the still muggle photos of him she had. He and the rest of the band were decked out in black, making them hard to see against the dark skies. Looking closer though, Candy Vandy could see their glazed over eyes. They were under mind control, and it was wonderful. A crowd of Hogsmeade residents had gathered to watch. It seemed her and Draco were the only students that could make it. She was feeling important when her heart suddenly dropped. There she was. Her dorm mate, friend, and rival for the most gothic girl in Hogwarts. Satanica Disease. Candy Vandy did not know if that was her real name. Candy Vandy did not know much about her, in fact. Was she even human? She didn't look it. She had fangs, not natural ones like Candy Vandy did. Implants, to be more gothic. Candy Vandy often wondered if this made her more hardcore or just a poser. She also had titanium horns implanted under her skin on her temples, denting her flesh outwards in some hideous look. Combined with countless amounts of piercing, the flesh of her ears violated and stretched with enlarged hoops and tattoos covering the majority of her skin, she was something to remember. She was not fun to look at for most students and staff at Hogwarts. Luckily for them, she rarely turned up to class or even the Slytherin common room. Unluckily though, she was known to be found in dark corners and lonely corridors. Now she was facing Candy Vandy, floating over towards her and Draco. Oh yes, she hadn't walked for at least three years. She floated everywhere, gliding across surfaces like a creature of death. No wonder first years had nightmares over her. "Greetings, my fellow death worshipper." Satanica said, drifting past. Candy Vandy suddenly felt very cold, though relieved that Satanica had not decided to stop. She wanted to be with Draco. Without even introducing themselves or saying anything to the audience, My Chemical Romance began to play. They did not seem to show any emotion, looking directly forwards over the heads of the audience the entire time. " Long ago Just like the hearse, you die to get in again We are so far from you
Burning on Just like a match you strike to incinerate The lives of everyone you know
And what's the worst you take (Worst you take !) From every heart you break (Heart you break) And like a blade you stain (Blade you stain) Well, I've been holding on tonight""Oh, Satan!" Candy Vandy cried. "Gerard is so fit! I want to sog his marrow out." Draco suddenly looked sullen. "Hey," Candy Vandy said. "I'm here dating you. Not him. You'll always be my silver medal." "Thanks, Candy Vandy." He said, and kissed her. She broke away and flashed the band, which only looked down for a split second with apathy before going back to gazing at nothing in particular above the crowd. "Ugh, I should have known he was gay after dating those preppy sluts." Candy Vandy spat in anger. She began to makeout with Draco. ***** Soon enough the concert finished, the couple dozen Hogsmeade villagersthat stayed to watch politely applauding before returning to their homes. Candy Vandy and Draco made their way back to the latter's car. She did not see Satanica Disease anywhere, which for some unexplainable reason made her uneasy. "That was totally underground, Draco," Candy Vandy replied. "You're welcome for letting me date you." "Glad you had a fun night." He said, but something seemed off. "Drop me off at the castle, I have to get to bed soon." Candy Vandy said. He didn't. Instead, he flew towards the forest, over Hagrid's hut and into the depths of the dark woods. "Draco, what in the name of FUCK are you doing? You hopeless creep!" He did not reply, but parked in a small clearing. Candy Vandy immediately got out and began walking. "What the fuck, Draco!?" She spat, furious. "Candy Vandy, I'm mad for you!" He grabbed her wrist and threw her against a tree. "I'm not going to screw you in the forest," she replied matter of fact. "You know what? I'm not going to screw you period. Nobody makes Candy Vandy hike threw a forest, you creep!" She immediately kicked him in the groin. He yelped and pulled out his wand. Candy Vandy did the same. "Crookshanks!" She yelled. A crowd of overweight orange cats began to attack him with their adorable paws and rough tongues. "Gah!" He cried. "Crucio!" The spell barely missing Candy Vandy and sent the cats fleeing. "You psycho! Stupefy!" Draco ducked behind a tree, dodging her stunning spell. "Petrificus Totalus." He replied. It struck Candy Vandy in the chest. Her body froze up, paralysed. She was vulnerable. Draco smirked and bent down, the look in his eyes was frightening. Suddenly a speeding figure darted out of the woods, throwing Draco far into the trees. Candy Vandy felt her body unfreeze. She immediately leapt up as Draco came running from the woods, dazed and confused. "You rapist piece of shit!" Candy Vandy cried. "Avada Kedava!" It missed as Draco barely ducked in time, throwing himself on the ground. He lost his wand. In a second Candy Vandy was sitting on him. "Wait!" He begged, but Candy Vandy was hungry. She took out her potion of Draught of Living Death and shoved it down his throat. It was just the right amount. Enough to knock him out and stop him from fidgeting without it affecting her. Her fangs pierced his skin, and she began to drink, slowly clawing his flesh with her sharp nails. Within minutes she had drained him to the point of death and beyond. "Oh, I needed that!" She cheered. "Shit." Killing and consuming students was against the rules at Hogwarts. "You're a vampire." A voice said. Candy Vandy stood up and peered into the darkness at her mysterious converser. "Obviously." She replied. "Who's there?!" She drew her wand out. "Someone like you." A tall figure came out. He was pale, as if he had not seen the sun for a century or two. His eyes, the colour of a dehydrated person's urine, seemed to glow in the darkness. He looked like a creepy statue. "Someone like me?" "VUM-PYRE." He roared. "Turned as a teenager, forced to stay like this for eternity, burning in the sun. A curse if there ever was one. "I'm only half." Candy Vandy said. "My father was a vampire. I was born this way, baby. Right track. And I can go in the sun…for short periods of time. But why would I? The sun is for preppies and hippies. Now, give me a good reason why I shouldn't finish you now!" "My skin, for one. Some say it's like-" "Gravel." She snarled. "Marble." His lip curled. "A fellow vampire. I've never met one before…" Suddenly the vampire's head darted up. He sniffed the air. "Someone's coming," he said. "Dumbledore. I'd recognise that smell of flaming homosexuality and beard-shampoo anywhere." Candy Vandy looked at Draco's dead body. She was not going to turn him, she couldn't be bothered. She was doomed. "I need you to hide him, at least till morning. Leave him in the car's trunk. I'll find it, later. I have to run." "So do I," he said. "Wait. What's your name?" Candy Vandy asked. "Edward." Candy Vandy turned and ran. She could see the Astronomy Tower in the distance, acting like a light house, enabling her to know what direction to run in. Dumbledore was out and about. She learned that vampires, pure ones at least, had an excellent sense of smell. For all she knew, Dumbledore could be a mile away or right in front of her. Naturally, it was the latter. "CANDY VANDY DID YOU PUT YOUR NAME IN THE CUUUUUP!?!?!" He screamed. "What?!" She begged. "I mean, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKER!?" "Kawaiiii!" She mourned.
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Post by Traveling Riverside Roj on Jul 30, 2011 22:29:04 GMT -6
This story arouses me.
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Post by PirateWolf12 on Aug 4, 2011 5:16:55 GMT -6
Chapter 4: Romeo Must Die "I…" Candy Vandy began. "I HAD GLEE CLUB REHEARSAL!" "In the woods?" Dumbledore asked. "Sure, why not?" "You're not in glee club." That was true. "In fact," Dumbledore continued. "We don't have show choir here." Surprisingly, that wasn't. Candy Vandy remained silent. She wished she cold glamour people. "EXPLAIN YOURSEEEEEEEELF!" Dumbledore roared. He must have had a headache. "Okay! Okay, I always value a challenge. I was…protesting! Yeah, protesting the sinful band playing in Hogsmeade tonight and trying to convince Satanica Disease towards the love of…that guy. You know? Uh…Jesus! Him! Yeah, then some Puerto Rican guy dragged me into the woods at gunpoint. I was able to chase him off with my ever so sharp vampire teeth. And if you don't believe that, sorry I went to the concert with Draco, only to murd-" "I've heard enough!" Dumbledore said, and grabbed Candy Vandy by her gothic and luscious hair. "Arrgghh!" He cried. His fingers had all been sliced off. Candy Vandy forgot she had put a razor in her hair, charmed to be more effective against any attackers. "Gah! I've got blood all over my cloak and freshly-shampooed beard!" He took out his wand and within a flash had re-attached the fingers. "This calls for a more extreme punishment." He said, grabbed Candy Vandy's arm and teleported them back to his office. "I didn't think we could teleport across the castle," Candy Vandy whimpered, dizzy and nauseous from the unexpected and forced apparition. As Candy Vandy tried to steady herself and catch her bearings she could see that they were now in the headmaster's gaudy looking office, the walls covered in pictures of ugly old wizards and witches and magical trinkets. She was shocked to see McGonagall waiting for them. "Being me has its benefits." Dumbledore said to Candy Vandy, before turning to McGonagall. "I caught this one out in the forest. Alone." "Why would you do such a thing, you mediocre dunce!?" McGonagall ejaculated. "BECAUSE I LOVE THE HUNT, THE HUNT. I LOVE THE NIGHT AND GOTH BANDS AND MAGIC AND THE MOON AND-" "Enough." It was Snape who had cut off Candy Vandy. He did not look pleased to be up. "I didn't mean to, you know, have you guys find out." Candy Vandy pleaded. "An innocent mistake." Snape said with disgust. "I do not see why you called me, Headmaster, for such trivial matters. Especially telepathically at this time. You know that is Snape's time." "Nobody cares about you and that dead ho you were racist to." Dumbledore said, annoyed. "You know what is at stake. This wasn't some random useless Hufflepuff student in the forest that nobody would care about. You know she is important. You know why she has to be kept safe." "She should be punished!" The biased bitch McGonagall said. "And you know why we can't do that." Snape said. McGonagall and Dumbldore looked defeated. "Because my famous wealthy mother will verbally destroy all three of you within minutes?" Candy Vandy asked. "That's one of the reasons," Snape said. "Go to your common room." "Wait." McGonagall said. "Are the other students all accounted for?" "Yes, with the exceptions of Mister Malfoy and Miss Disease." Snape said with either bitter love or warm loathing. Candy Vandy was heading to the door when she remembered Draco. Poor, poor, sexy Draco. She would have to deal with him in the morning, which was only a few hours away. "Goodnight, Miss Volper Woelzlein Toupe," Dumbledore said, somewhat more warmly. Candy Vandy was weirded out, and was only able to nod at the three as she left. *********** After what seemed like several lifetimes of navigating the halls and stairwells to get to the dungeons, Candy Vandy was pleased to arrive at the Slytherin common room. It was devoid of all life, bar one insomniac third year boy who ignored her. Her dorm mates were asleep in their beds, bar Satanica, who as stated was out and about somewhere that was likely to be foggy. Candy Vandy crept into her coffin and closed the lid. Morning came too soon for Candy Vandy, woken by Rojjetta opening her coffin in worry. "There you are!" She said. "You were late. That means you either had a really good time or a really bad time. Did you get with Draco? Or Gerard?" "Draco!" Candy Vandy cried, jumping up. "It's a long story. I'll tell you on my death bed, of which I dream about every night and day." "...Kay?" Candy Vandy had gotten showered and dressed in record time. As she went through the castle, she did not bother stopping for breakfast in the hall despite her pounding hunger. She passed by Pinky Rie-Kie and gave her the finger, before exiting the castle into the main courtyard. Passing by several students lazing around before class, she pulled out her wand. "Accio Firebolt!"Half a minute passed before she had Harry Potter's prized Firebolt in her hands. She mounted it, pretending it was Gerard Way, and took off. She flew with incredible speed, past the castle and over the forbidden forest where she looked with desperation for the clearing. Oh, if only Dumbledore hadn't teleported her! After an hour or two of flying she thought she had found it. Success! The car was still there, the trunk closed. "Alohomora." She said, and the trunk unlocked. "Thanks, Edders." There he was. Draco Malfoy. A once beloved gothic playboy, now a rotting corpse. His face was petrified in utter horror, his mouth wide open in pain, eyes basically popping out of his head. What could she do? She couldn't bury him. They were finding bodies every day. They'd find out it was her thanks to those fang bite marks. She could eat him, fingernails and all? Maybe. But no matter what, his parents would send out countless search parties. He wasn't some lame forgettable Hufflepuff. People knew he was out with her. It would only be a matter of time before they traced him back to her. She had to kill him, again. In front of everyone. But how? She formed a plan. She conjured up a pair of glasses and put them over his eyes, not really covering them up. Oh well. Putting one arm around her shoulders, she began to walk, dragging him along. The broom would be useless to take him on, so she left it in the woods. Fuck Harry Potter, that fuck! She had not encountered any monsters or critters in the woods as she carried Draco out, so Candy Vandy was considering herself lucky before Hagrid appeared. "Candy!" The giant man-beast roared. More gravy than man and more annoying than helpful, Candy Vandy had a special place in her heart full of hatred for the oaf. "Hagrid." She said, being polite to avoid attention. "It's Vandy." Well, she couldn't let him get away with that. "Sorry Vandy," He said. "No, Candy Vandy. Anyway, I'm busy." She continued away slowly, the dead weight of a teenage boy substantially making her movement sluggish. She had a horrible feeling Hagrid was in love with her. She was irresistible, it couldn't be helped. Pity. It isn't easy being so perfect. An hour later she had emerged on the main viaduct bridge, which led to the entrance courtyard. It was now lunch time, and the students were out enjoying the sun. Poor Candy Vandy was beginning to get ill. Whilst it was not fatal to her, being in the sunlight made her feel nauseous, getting more severe the more time she was out in it. She did not know if it was from being gothic or a vampire. Both good guesses. What she did know was that she had to finish this soon. In the centre of the courtyard, she loudly said "Gee Draco, you seem so depressed at this current point of time. I certainly hope you don't KILL YOURSELF." Nobody paid any attention to her. Prep dicks! "Sonorus," she said, her wand pointing at her throat. Immediately, her voice began to boom. "I SAID 'GEE DRACO, I HOPE YOU DON'T FUCKING THROW YOURSELF OFF THE TOWER BECAUSE YOU'RE SO DEPRESSED BY HOW FUCKNIG HIDEOUS THAT SLUT BITCH LIBBY THE'S BLEACHED HAIR LOOKS." Everybody was now staring. Part A of her plan worked. She was nearly there. But then Flitwick appeared. "Good day to you, Miss Volper Woelzlein Toupe. Mr Malfoy, a word?" He said. Freakin' gravity abused dwarf thing! Candy Vandy began to panic. She slowly began to speak, her voice deeper. Draco was going to be her marionette. "Anything you say to me you can say in front of Candy Vandy, the coolest and hottest goth girl in the world." 'Draco' said, despite his mouth paralysed in a silent scream. "...Well, alright." Flitwick said, buying Candy Vandy's pathetic guise. "You're failing Charms. You're failing most of your classes, with the exception of Potions. Your patheticness depresses the staff, myself included. Dumbledore is debating on expelling you unless you improve your grades and give up this pathetic attention seeking charade of being gothic." Candy Vandy, and to a lesser extent, Puppet-Draco, were speechless. Puppet-Draco began, "FUCK YOU, FLICKTITS. YOU FUCKNIG MIDGET SHIT." "I beg your pardon!?" Flitwick cried. "You heard me, you doped up blasphemous prep dwarf freak. I had my jimmy whacked twelve times yesterday. You and your faggy choir can go fuck themselves! Goth is the best lifestyle around! Not for attention! I hope you get eaten by a dragon." "FIFTY POINTS FROM SLYTHERIN." "Oh, go fuck yourself you vertically challenged pedo bitch!" Puppet-Draco snapped. Candy Vandy pretended to be shocked. "THAT IS IT. YOU ARE EXPELLED." Everyone was now looking, whispering how Draco could say such things. Flitwick stormed off, high on adrenalin. He was probably going to go kill a dog or something manly like that. Candy Vandy smiled. It worked better than expected. "COME, DRACO." She said. "LET ME GO DRY THOSE SUICIDAL TEARS. WHAT'S THAT? IF YOU DIE, YOU DON'T WANT AN AUTOPSY? ALRIGHTY THEN." After making sure the dozens of students in the courtyard had heard everything, she dragged his corpse by the hand in excitement into the castle. The Grand Staircase Tower was probably the tallest in the castle, the astronomy classroom built on the top. It offered a perfect view of the castle and surrounding landscape. Candy Vandy sighed as she climbed out a window. "I'm so sorry this had to happen like this, but, well, better you than me. I guess." "OH NO, DRACO," She cried, her voice now magically enchanted for all to hear. "WHAT IS THOU DOETH?!" She cried, throwing the body over the edge where he fell. And fell. And fell. And fell. And landed on two first year Gryffindor children. Candy Vandy pulled herself in as she heard the courtyard erupt in screams.
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Post by PirateWolf12 on Aug 5, 2011 19:01:54 GMT -6
I'm terribly sorry to inform you all of this misfortune, but my computer seems to have a hardware problem. Basically, it won't turn on.
I had begun working on the next chapter, and had written the scene after Candy Vandy threw Draco's body over the side of the castle. Now, hopefully they can save the data and give it to me soon. Until then, I'll continue writing the rest of the chapter, though I also don't have the notes for the coming chapters on me. I'll see how it goes. With a lack of free time due to university, it'll be a bit longer getting each chapter out. I'll do my best though!
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Post by PirateWolf12 on Aug 9, 2011 6:47:32 GMT -6
Computer fixed, recovered my lost document (all files still there, no worry), uploaded the scene online somewhere for safe keeping and I'll finish the chapter some time this week!
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Post by Veta on Aug 9, 2011 8:35:52 GMT -6
Soooo dramatic and goffic. Although this could use a goffik church turned nightclub.
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Post by PirateWolf12 on Aug 11, 2011 6:41:19 GMT -6
Chapter 5: The Fear "Oh my good Lord." A nurse said, looking down at the splattered remains. "Is it him?! Is it Draco?" Crabbe, or possibly Goyle, asked. "NO, PLEASE GOD, NO!" Cried his ex-girlfriend, Pansy Parkinson. "Does anyone know when Final Destination 5 is being released?" Candy Vandy asked to the crowd. "I want to say August, but then I remembered that we live in Scotland" "Hey, can I have Draco's ring?" Pinky Rie-Kie asked. "I mean, he isn't going to use it." "And those shoes are pretty cool." Another boy said. "But too small." "I think those are the feet of one of the Gryffindor boys."� Noah Runcorn said, his face with a look of disgust. "And yeah, we do get Final Destination 5 in August." "STEP BACK." Roared Dumbledore-Rumbleroar. The cluster of students and staff stepped back, fearful of angering the PMSing headmaster. "How did this happen?" Dumbledore said. Everyone turned to Candy Vandy. "Well, it's like I said. He was depressed and then he got expelled for being so depressed or something so we went to the Astronomy room to do the horizontal monster mash but instead he threw himself off. I think it is best we forgot about this sad incident and that we don't bring in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement to investigate any further." Candy Vandy said. Dumbledore nodded. "A tragic event has happened today." "I don't know," Ron Crying Tree said. "It seems someone dies every year." "Twice on leap years!" Alaska Nebraska said, who was clinging to the arm of Noah. "The only thing surprising is that he didn't die from a giant snake or monster or something." Candy Vandy gulped. He did. "My boyfriend killed himself and I am an emotionally distraught vegetable." Candy Vandy said. "I'll join you all later for tonight's feast." "Do...do you need me to come with you, Candy Vandy?" Ron Crying Tree asked. "We could write poetry about what happened." "Don't touch me, Ginger." Candy Vandy said, before grabbing Rojjetta's hand and pulling her away from the growing crowd of students. "DON'T YOU ALL HAVE STUDYING TO DO?" Dumbledore shrieked. "Candy Vandy, girl, I am so sorry. What can I do for you?" Rojjetta said. "You can keep a secret." She replied. "Oh?" Rojjetta gasped. "Did you and Draco go all the way!?" She gasped again, louder. "IS THAT WHY HE KILLED HIMSELF?" "WHAT!?" Candy Vandy cried. "Girl, I am the best lay this side of the loch. No, I'll tell you what happened." She looked around for somewhere quiet. Students were rushing past to get to the courtyard and find out what the commotion was. There were whispers all around. The moving portraits seemed just as curious. "In here," Candy Vandy said, and dragged Rojjetta towards a girls' bathroom that laid adjacent to the main stairwell of the castle. Their dorm mates, Flora and Hestia Carrow, walked out and eyed the two gothic girls with suspicion. They didn't say a word as they followed the large crowd of students into the main hall. After checking to make sure the bathroom was empty, Candy Vandy grabbed Rojjetta and pulled her inside. They walked to the opposite side of the long room, away from the ears of possibly prying portraits and students. "What?" Rojjetta said, sounding like a mix between being annoyed and being excited. "I killed Draco." "GURL. SAY WHAAAAT!?" "I killed Draco," Candy Vandy shrugged. "Okay, well obviously I heard that," she said. "I was just shocked at such A GODDAMN REVELATION. How?" "He tried to rape me-" "What a gay fag!" Rojjetta interjected. "I know, right? So after the rape thing we got into a fight and I kind of date raped and drained him. Not drain like that, you sicko perv, but drained his blood." "Oh, yeah, people need that." Rojjetta said. "So then, how did-" "I threw him off the tower. Hopefully they'll never find out. Promise you'll never tell, or I'll cure you so that Hilary Duff music will always be playing in your mind and you'll never be able to stop it." "I promise. So, when fighting, did you try out that Crookshanks spell I came up with?" "Yes! It's totally kawaiiii!" Both girls remained silent for a few seconds, before cheering and dancing and unleashing an ungodly amount of Crookshank cat spells around the room. ***** The music began to pick up faster, the climatic end of the song approaching. The twelve performers were arranged in a triangle facing towards the crowd, the South African lead female singer was at the front of the pact. " And you! And you! And you!" Each line they punched the air in front of them, stretching out their arm in a violent and grotesque display of choreography. The choir teacher, a moustached dwarf many decades younger than Professor Flitwick, was on an elevated DJ booth behind the singers, playing with more enthusiasm than necessary. "You're gonna lo-o-o-ove me-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e, oh!" The lead girl sang. "YOU'RE GONNA LO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-OVE ME-E-E-E-E-E-E-E."The dozen or so dancers, who happened to all be ghetto trash girls, turned away and began to shake their money's worth. Gryffindor table erupted in applause, followed by the other three houses. Only Candy Vandy and her coven remained silent and a little disgusted. A small group, they consisted of students from across the four houses. Candy Vandy was, of course, the undisputed coven leader for life. She sat next to the second-in-command, who was, unsurprisingly, Rojjetta. Surrounding them at the Slytherin table was Satanica Disease, who had come to partake in the school memorial (a rare event for her to be present at a school event) only for the emotional wellbeing of her friend, Candy Vandy. Those three girls were the only Slytherin members, the other half made up from students from the other houses. Ron Crying Tree was also a member and sat with the gothic girls instead of his own table. Next to him were the two younger members, Ravenclaw fourth year student Veta Crimson Bleeding-Door, a seedy looking Mexican emo boy with dyed hair and too much eyeshadow, and the chubby second year Hufflepuff lad Chin-Chin Raichant Waterfall. They were all outcasts, taking shelter under the protection of Candy Vandy from the preps and posers of the school. They all looked at the performance with hatred as they smoked French cigarettes and drank virgin's blood from goblets. As the applause died down, Dumbledore stood up to address the school. They were all still in shock after Draco's death. Some spoke of the school closing, others were saying that Flitwick himself pushed young Draco to his death. Candy Vandy nearly believed it, until she remembered that she had killed him. So far, Rojjetta had kept her secret. "Thank you, Professor Windlesnobbs and the talented members of "Aural Arousal". I do not know who they are, what that song was about, or whether it pertains in any way to the tragic events that occurred today. Yes, it is true. I am a homosexual. But just as shocking and out of the blue, Draco Malfoy passed away today." Harry Potter, chosen one and preppy asshole, immediately stood up and applauded, before looking awkwardly at the rest of the school who remained seated and silent. "Thank you, Mr. Potter," Dumbledore said, before continuing. "This was a tragic event that could have been avoided, unlike the giant snake, the Tournament quagmire, the end of racial segregation, and all that Hepititis B leaked into the food, so I implore each of you that if you are feeling down and out, Hogwarts is always ready to listen to you. Except on weekends and public holidays. Now then, let us all look back on the wonderful life Malfoy led and- STOP COMPLAINING- remember - the good times. We'll be playing a clip show of all the moments through young Draco's life. Aural Arousal?" The glee club immediately ran back to the stage, the dwarf conductor taking his place on the DJ booth. A screen appeared out of thin air, showing a baby Draco, using his magic to set fire to some muggle-borns. "Mmmmmm Just lookin' out of the window. Watchin' the asphalt grow. Thinkin' how it all looks hand-me-down." The lead girl sang, before the other singers joined in. "Good times! Any time you meet a payment Good times! Any time you need a friend Good Times! Any time you're out from under Not getting hassled, not getting hustled Keepin' your head above water, Making a wave when you can."Candy Vandy began to get bored of the song quite quickly and looked at the screen. A seven year old Draco with a 'white pride' tattoo, a nine year old Draco torturing a sack of kittens, a sixteen year old Draco letting some death eaters into the castle to kill Dumbledore or something. Boring! Instead, she gazed at the table of professors. There was Snape, and Lupin the creepy and homeless looking Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. Between them sat the Potions' assistant. Dumbledore had clearly fallen asleep from boredom. God, old people are lazy as fuck. "Temporary lay offs Good Times! Easy credit rip offs Good Times! Scratchin' and surviving Good Times! Hangin in a chow line! Good Times! Ain't we lucky we got 'em Good Times!"As the song ended, so did the clip show. It was the last slide displayed for the school to see. Screams and gasps could be heard from around the hall. There, for all to see was Candy Vandy, her teeth gum-deep in the flesh of Draco's white-foundation painted neck. He was unconscious or dead. Libby The immediately began to scream. "LIES! LIES AND SLANDER!" Candy Vandy screamed, standing up. "PHOTOSHOP!" "It's a magic powerpoint," seventh year Slytherin girl Pansy said. "It showed his entire life via magic. What, you think I submitted that shot of me riding him in his car?" "Oh. Well, um-" Candy Vandy tried to think of what to say. The entire school, staff included, were looking at her. Dumbledore stood up. "Explain yourself!" He Dumbleroared. "Okay," Candy Vandy said. "I like a challenge. Um...Oh! We were rehearsing a play! But then Draco ruined it by going tits up and bellyflopping off the tower. Yeah? Yeah! What a dick. It would have been great. This is all Draco's fault!" Candy Vandy said, and glared at her coven, who began to nod and yell out support. "She's lying!" Pansy cried. "Quick, somebody grab her!" "That's quite enough from you, Miss Parkinson," Professor McGonagall said, now near the table. "Perhaps a few hours in the hole will teach you!" She cried, grabbing Pansy by her dark red hair, opening a magical trapdoor in the floor and shoving the screaming girl into it. "Now, Candy Vandy is telling the truth. Draco Malfoy, unfortunately, killed himse- STOP CLAPPING, POTTER AND SIT DOWN" "-himself. We'll just have to come to grips with it. Besides, if Candy Vandy did somehow drag Malfoy's rotting corpse up about a hundred flights of stairs, she'd have to have the endurance of a thousand men-" "Or a half-vampire!" Candy Vandy interjected, giving the peace sign to nobody in particular. "- And she'd be emotionally distraught over those two deceased Gryffindor children." "Like I'd give a shit about some chubby little Gryffindor- Oh, right. Yes. I'd be an emotional vegetable." "Now, I believe it's time for you all to return to your dormitories for gossip." McGonagall said quickly, standing up. Candy Vandy sighed, and quickly left the hall with Rojjetta and Ron Crying Tree in tow, as the students began to murmur and move around. "Candy Vandy!" A voice shouted out. "Hey! I'm talking to you!" She turned around. It was that Potions' assistant. "What the hell do you want?" She asked. "I've been listening in on what the staff are saying. There's something special about you-" "But of course!" She cried, Rojjetta and Ron nodding in agreement. "No, something real special. Everybody in there knows you killed Draco. Luckily nobody really liked him. But regardless of that, you'd still be sent to Azkaban. But the teachers all covered for you. I've been listening to what they and my dad have been saying. I don't know much, but there's something about you. Something unique, something more important than appearance." "Impossible!" "But you are!" He snarled. "No, I mean, there is nothing more important than appearance." "Look, just be careful. My father, Professor Lupin, said something wicked is coming." Candy Vandy sneered. "If I had a dime for every time someone said that, Whateveryournameis." "Jacob," he said. "My name is Jacob Black-Lupin." "You go now, Jacob," Candy Vandy said, and turned away. She, followed by Rojjetta and Ron, walked away into the castle. ***********
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Post by PirateWolf12 on Aug 11, 2011 19:12:59 GMT -6
There seems to be some annoying error with the quotation marks. It seems to work (for me at least) if you go View > Character Coding > Unicode (UTF-8).
Edit: Fixed.
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Post by PirateWolf12 on Aug 18, 2011 21:14:40 GMT -6
Chapter 6: You Can Do it, Put Your Back Into It! The three were now sitting in the Divination classroom, another favourite class of Candy Vandy's. Located on the top of one of Hogwart's many towers, the class offered an amazing view of the countryside and the dented pavement where Draco collided with the ground. "Candy Vandy," Ron Crying Tree asked. "Why did you do it?" Rojjetta glared up at him. "You don't understand what it's like being a vampire. I need blood. Fresh blood! Not the packaged muggle baby blood I get from here, but straight from the horse's veins." Candy Vandy said. Ron looked uncomfortable. "What?' Candy Vandy asked, annoyed. "Nothin'. It's just so…foreign to me, is all. I don't understand it." "And you never will." Candy Vandy said. She looked at Rojjetta. "You understand, right?" "Of course. But, well, it is pretty far out for me. I'm not a vampire, and, well, as much as I love carnage, seeing you drain that sex-god Draco dry is kinda weird, in an arousing, Evanescence kind of way." Candy Vandy sighed. "It's so hard being a powerful vampire, along with being the most underground and attractive girl in school!" She wished Professor Trelawney was here. She always understood Candy Vandy, appreciative of her ability to decipher prophecies and determine the future. But the future was not always clear. She knew she'd be asked out by Draco. She didn't know she'd kill him after one date after a vicious duel. She thought her friends would understand. Clearly, they didn't. "I have to go," Candy Vandy said, and left the gaudy looking classroom. "Candy Vandy, wait!" Rojjetta said, her black mascara running down her face. It was too late; Candy Vandy had already closed the door and leapt over the banister. She fell for a minute, hitting the ground with a dull thud. Being half a vampire as well as a witch allowed her to survive such daring stunts. It was why she was such a sought after player of Quidditch. But she loathed the preppy sport, so it was a fool's errand trying to get her to play Seeker. As she lifted herself up, she saw Satanica Disease levitating near her, watching from the dark recesses under the stairs. She was reminded of a song lyric. Fingers like snakes and spiders in my hair!"Satanica," Candy Vandy nodded, putting her dislocated shoulder back in place. "What brings you here on this night?" "I was about to ask you the same thing, coven leader. Killing Draco, taking another life, well, I can only dream for such…power!" "It really isn't all that gre-" "To be in control, to watch their eyes drain of life! Envy. ENVY FILLS ME! Teach me the ways, coven master!" "But you at least play vampire. Don't you understand what it's like? Don't you understand?" "No," Santica said dreamily, before drifting off down a corridor. Candy Vandy sighed. The only girl close to being a vampire in the school couldn't even help her. She was alone. She remembered her father, a vampire, who disappeared several years after her birth. She had only faint memories and recollections of him, the tall pale man always dressed in pinstripe suits. Sometimes, when loneliness became more than something to embrace and write poetry about and felt more like her soul was being strangled, she liked to sing. "Accio guitar!" She cried, summoning her electric guitar, painted black with purple stars all over it. She began to sing a gothic version of Barbra Streisand's 'Papa, Can You Hear Me?', when she was interrupted by her magical familiar and pet, Snaggletooth. Unlike all the other loser preps who kept pets, Candy Vandy had a unique animal friend. Not obese cats with smashed in faces like Noah or that bitch mudblood Hermione Granger had or an anaconda like Rojjetta, no. She had an elephant, enchanted to stay the size it was as a baby and dyed a black colour. Snaggletooth had been her friend since she was a little girl. Her mother got it off her from an African fellow in Knockturn Alley. "Snaggletooth! Where you been, off screwing?" She said, hugging the large-tiny beast. "Oh, Snaggletooth. I wish you could talk. None of these prep assholes understand me, you know? Oh, I know you want to, but it's a vampire thing. A vampire thing? Of course! That fellow in the woods, Edward. He helped me. He understood. Come on, Snaggletooth, let's pay him a visit," she said, jumping on the baby elephant's back, who began to walk down the corridor. "What's all this commotion?" A grizzled voice called out. She recognised that tone anywhere. It was Filch or Filth or whatever. The keeper of the castle, a creepy pedo squib (gene failure, basically). Candy Vandy knew what to do. She took out her invisibility cloak, which she found carelessly lying around in Harry Potter's suitcase. She tossed it over herself and her pet baby elephant. They were both hidden. A cat appeared, furry with golden eyes. It meowed at the cloaked emo girl and her pet. "What's wrong, Mrs Norris?" Filth asked. "Is someone under that invisible cloak?" "…NO!" Candy Vandy said, throwing her voice to that of a cat's. "Oh." Filth said, picking up his cat and walking off down a hallway. "That was close." She said, and the two began to walk down a separate corridor. Hogwarts was eerie at night. The stone walls made the never ending corridors echo, the slow and heavy footsteps of Snaggletooth ricocheting around her. Candy Vandy gasped, she felt like she had jumped head first into the loch in the middle of winter. A ghost had just purposely flown through her, apathetic. "Hey! What's the big idea?" Candy Vandy cried to him before he could disappear through a wall. "What?" He said, annoyed. He had died at her age, permanently sixteen for eternity. A chilling fate. "You know, you're not meant to be out at this time." Candy Vandy studied him. The open wound in his torso, now translucent in his ghost form, as well as his preppy muggle clothes made him quick to identify. "Sean Blood?" She asked. He scowled at her. He had once been a Ravenclaw student and captain of their Quidditch team, five years or so before his untimely death. Despite being dead he wasn't that bad looking to Candy Vandy. Perhaps they could date? "I've heard about you. You've been haunting the castle for the past year. Your uncle or whatever teaches me Alchemy." Sean Blood did not reply, instead he gave her the same scowl, disgust evident in his face. There was bad blood between him and his uncle. "Preppy dick." Candy Vandy hissed. "I suggest you return to your common room," Sean Blood spat. "Filth patrols at night." "I have an invisibility cloak." Candy Vandy gloated. "Then I suggest you use it." He turned and vanished through a wall. "What a dick," Candy Vandy said. "I should call him or something." Her pet did not reply, but continued walking. A few corridors later and they were outside, the clock tower rising over them. The air froze her body to the core. Snaggletooth at least looked comfortable, his thick skin protecting him. The clock tower courtyard was empty, the wind blowing piles of leaves around. The place seemed older and more rustic than the rest of the castle. Candy Vandy loved it, from the loose roof tiles to the countless spider webs. She always tried to do her homework out here when it was quieter. The courtyard was connected to a bridge that she was certain was only being held up by magic. Still, she and her pet elephant crossed it without fear, the river below running. Down a hill was Hagrid's hut, where she left Snaggletooth, not wanting to bring him into the forest. He'd be safe here, eating Hagrid's vegetable garden. He was fat enough as it was, so it wouldn't be an issue. "Candy Vandy?" She turned around. There he was, Jacob. "You following me, perv?" She asked. "I don't have time for this." "As a member of staff, I do have the right to see what you're doing. Especially past bed time, outside of the castle, and about to enter the Forbidden Forest." "I can explain." "Be brief." He said. "Oh, be fucked!" Candy Vandy hissed. "Do you know what it's like for someone like me? A vampire?" "I-" "You know I killed Draco, you said so! I just need to go into the woods. You wouldn't understand-" "I' a werewolf. I know what it's like." Candy Vandy was taken back. This was her rant, damn it! "Well," she said. "I thought you had a peculiar smell to you. If you are what you say you are, then you'll understand why I have to go in there. Alone." Jacob paused, and then sighed. "Fine." Candy Vandy turned and walked into the forest. When she was in deep enough and sure Jacob couldn't see her, she began to run. She did not want to be followed. Unfortunately, the speed she was running at combined with the darkness and overgrown roots made it easy for her to trip. She hit the forest floor with a thud, sending a clutter of tiny spiders fleeing. "Ick!" She cried, jumping up. She was immediately met face to face with an acromantula, a gigantic hairy spider. "GAH!" She turned to run from the horrid creature, but was immediately met with another beast. A troll. It was large, about twelve feet tall. Grey skinned and hairless, Candy Vandy immediately identified it as a Mountain Troll, the fiercest of the troll species. It raised its club - a large wooden branch, and swung at her. She dodged, rolling out of the way. The club struck the giant spider, crushing it. "Run to me!" A voice called. She recognised it as Edward's. She ran to where she was certain she heard it. "No! This way." He called. She turned, lost. The woods looked the same to her. Heavy footsteps could be heard, and she realised the troll was chasing her. It roared as it walked towards her. She screamed and took off running, pulling out her wand and firing spells. If that prick Harry Potter could take one down, surely she could. But running and firing behind herself was hard to do, especially when panicking and running through an unfamiliar forest at night. "Over here! Alright!" Edward cried as Candy Vandy turned and ran down a sloping hill. The troll didn't seem to follow, but she did not stop to find out. After crossing a small creak, the water like ice, she stopped to take a breath. "You're alright." He said. "Yes." The two looked at each other for a minute, not knowing what to say. "You came back .Why?" He asked, his pale skin bright in the moonlight. "They know, about Draco." She said. "That mortal." "That mortal, yes." Candy Vandy sighed. "Are you hiding out?" "No, they don't care. I guess I'm too attractive or important to be charged or something." "Oh. I'm…pleased for you." "I came back because I need help. You're the only vampire I know." "We don't even know each other," he said. "Which shows my desperation by coming here." "What's your problem?" "I guess…dealing with this. For some reason, people don't like it when I break their children's necks and drain the blood." "You know, I used to be in love. I did romantic things for her. Spied on her as she slept or used the bathroom. Stalk her, hassle her about her friends. Then she became too attached, so I broke her neck. Her father wasn't too happy, so now I live here. The point of that is that you can't become too attached. I know it's hard, but I learned that we can't divorce ourselves from who we are, no matter how much we want to. Being a vampire is not something to be ashamed of." "I'm not ashamed. I just want someone to understand what I'm going through." "I do understand." He said. "You're smart, perfect, strong. You'll be fine. Who cares what those loser preps say?" Candy Vandy smiled. "There's a concert playing in Hogsmeade next week. Do you want to come with me?" "Is that what you young people call a 'date'?" He asked, the word foreign to him. "Young people? How old are you?" "Over a century." "Well, I do have daddy issues, so I see no problem with that. Yes, it would be a date. I'm far too popular to be single. Hagrid might get too close, the stalker perv. I don't date fatties, you see. Hence why Ron won't get a piece of this." Edward took her hand. "I'll take you back to the edge of the forest. He took off running, Candy Vandy having trouble keeping up with him. Within a minute they were back on the outskirts. "Thanks," she said. "For…being there." "You might feel lonely," Edward said. "But you're not alone." He smiled, and vanished into the forest.
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Post by PirateWolf12 on Aug 21, 2011 5:52:33 GMT -6
Update coming soon. University is on though, so I haven't had much time.
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Post by PirateWolf12 on Aug 25, 2011 18:35:03 GMT -6
Chapter 7: A Trash Bin Full Of Dead Things "Strike a pose!" The Hogwarts show choir sang. They were dressed in costumes, styled in outfits from the Victorian era. They all stood up from their crouching positions on the stage. "Vogue!"They began to walk around. "Vogue." The girls cried. "Vogue," the boys replied. "Vogue,"[i/] both genders sang in union. "Strike a pose! Voooogue!"
The choir members - all thirty of them - were in their right positions, the girls in the middle, the boys in two groups on either side.
The girls all took out their matching fans and flicked them open in one swift wrist movement, before singing together as the boys danced around them.
"Look around everywhere you turn is heartache It's everywhere that you go"
"Look around!" The boys sang.
The girls continued singing, swapping positions with the boys who took the middle.
You try everything you can to escape The pain of life that you know"
The boys began to sing together, their voices deep against the brass instruments being played.
"When all else fails and you long to be Something better than you are today I know a place where you can get away It's called a dance floor, and here's what it's for, so Come on, vogue"
"Vogue!" The girls cried. Everybody was dancing together. The students began to cheer.
"Come on, vogue! Let your body move to the music, hey, hey, hey Come on, vogue Let your body go with the flow, you know you can do it" The choir all sang together.
They had moved around, once again, so that the girls were in the middle. But in the centre, with a microphone in hand, was a girl with two much white foundation and a Victorian dressed dyed black.
Candy Vandy smiled as she began to deliver her solo. "Dumbledore is a poser ho Edward over Jacob over Draco Professor Sprout and Pansy On the cover of a porn magazine"
"Hermione Granger might be keen Too bad she'll never be a beauty queen McGonagall doesn't bleed red Harry Potter likes to give head"
"Lack of style, lack of grace Libby The has an ugly face Britney, Lindsay, all preppies too Pinky Rie-Kie, I hate you"
"I like boys with an attitude Candy Vandy is always in the mood"
The girls all swung out their fans together, the noise ricocheting off the walls. The students were in awe. Candy Vandy continued to sing.
"Don't just stand there, let's get to it Strike a pose, there's nothing to it"
She began to point at various people as she sang.
"Vogue, vogue Vogue, vogue"
She stepped back in line with the other dancers as they all spun around and sang together.
"Let your body move to the music Ooh, you've got to just Let your body go with the flow Ooh, you've got to"
They all stopped and grabbed each others hands as the students erupted in cheering. Candy Vandy hugged one of the dancers.
Beep beep beep
It was the alarm. Candy Vandy immediately sat up, smashing through the lid of her closed coffin. She blinked once and began to scream. And scream. And scream.
The Carrow twins, in perfect synchrony, sat up and lifted their sleeping masks and looked at Candy Vandy with apathy. Satanica Disease, who slept upside down hanging from a metal bar, woke up immediately and fell to the ground with a thud. Rojjetta pulled back her covers and ran to Candy Vandy's bedside.
"Candy Vandy, girl, what's wrong!" She cried. "Wake up!"
Candy Vandy's eyes darted open. "Oh my God, girl, it was horrid!"
The three other girls were watching her with vague interest. Candy Vandy's screaming was not the best wake up call. "I had this nightmare. Oh God. Show choir. Me. Solo. That anorexic ho bag Madonna. Preppy! Limbs moving." She burst into tears of blood, the crimson liquid running down from her eyes. Rojjetta hugged her friend.
"It's over, Candy Vandy." She said. "It'll be fine. You're hot. You're the most goth girl here. You've got a date with that guy that lives in our woods. You're on track!"
Candy Vandy stopped. "Wow. Look at me. Blubbering on and on over nothing like Ron when he caught Harry and Hermione doing it in his bed."
"We have Divination today after Alchemy. You should ask Professor Trelawney about it."
"Yeah. Yeah, I might do that."
The five began to get ready for the day.
*****
The group sat in the Great Hall, enjoying a buffet breakfast. Candy Vandy was eating a tender muggle baby when Ron Crying Tree sat down.
"I hate those two," he said, gloomily.
"Oh God," Flora Carrow mumbled under her breath. "Now what?"
A mistake! Ron immediately turned to her, ready to spill his gut to the unsuspecting girl. "They broke my heart! You see, Hermione and I were going out, but you get drunk one too many times and send dirty letters to her mum and suddenly-"
"Please, God, stop." Noah Runcorn said. He had been trying to talk to Hestia Carrow about a Transfiguration assignment, but Ron's blubbering had cut that short. "I'm trying to block what you're saying out with every fibre of my being, but now all I can do is focus on wishing you to death."
Ron Crying Tree blinked. "That's deep, man. I wished I would die too, when I found out what they were doing. On my Herbology essay, too. It's why I failed."
"You failed because you're a retarded Gryffindor." Pansy said, who was sitting close by with her own gang of friends.
"And she probably cheated on you because you're fat." Laurasia said. Laurasia was a seventh year Slytherin girl and one of the girls in Pansy Parkinson's bullying gang. She had silver hair streaked red and black piercing eyes. She was the Seeker for the Quidditch team since Draco quit. "I'm just saying, Weasley, finger down the throat time. NOW SHUT THE HELL UP."
"Anyway," Ron said, ignoring her, "I wrote a new poem-."
"Die." Hestia spat.
"-It goes like this: My bleeding heart is bleeding-"
"Anyway," Candy Vandy began. "Did you hear about that fifth year Gryffindor loser poser Gabe? That fuckin' poser got expelled. He failed all his classes and he skipped Arithmancy."
Rojjetta laughed cruelly. "It serves that fucking bitch right." The Slytherins listening snickered and nodded their heads.
Candy Vandy smiled. "Maybe he'll die too?"
"Kawaiiii." Ron randomly said. Candy Vandy ignored him.
"Oh yeah. I have a confession to make. After Gabe got expelled I murdered him and then sold his body to Lupin, who had sex with it. He's a necrophiliac."
"Kawaiiii." Ron said again.
"THAT'S MY LINE!" Candy Vandy cried, and jumped on Ron, her hands choking his freckled neck. "YOU DON'T USE MY LINE."
Ron fell unconscious and Candy Vandy found herself being pulled off his body by the depressing Alchemy professor Ace Blood.
"Knock it off, Miss Volper Woelzlein Toupe!" He demanded. She let go. "Get going to class!"
Everybody stepped over Ron's body as they walked off to their first lessons of the day.
*****
Despite his brashness when it came to peeling away Candy Vandy's cold hands from Ron's broken neck, professor Ace Blood, teacher of Alchemy, was perhaps Candy Vandy's favourite member of staff. Sure, he didn't play the favouritisms like Snape did (but Snape was a creep, so he'd never gain much respect from Candy Vandy) nor was he as relatable to Trelawney (who was also another of Candy Vandy's favourites), but there was something about him. He was a lost soul, a man who always looked like he was about to burst into tears at a moment's notice and had never smiled in the past several years.
Candy Vandy did not know much of his past. The entire Blood family had been practically wiped out in a fatal accident, a bridge collapse. All except Ace Blood, who had miraculously survived without a scratch, but at the loss of his wife and newborn, as well as brother, sister, their spouses and children, and his own parents (and possibly a great grand parent). A truly torn soul. Candy Vandy was turned on by that. He was a great wizard and alchemist. She would never confess it, but she had a crush on him. He was like a hero to her. If only she could be as gloomy. If only she could grab onto that hair and cry out in ecstasy as he thrus-
"You all better be paying attention." He said, pulling Candy Vandy out of her day dream and back into reality. He was pointing at a diagram on the blackboard. "Anyway, as I was saying…"
Candy Vandy was now thinking about asking the teenage ghost relative of his, Sean Blood, about it, though he seemed stuck up. She smiled up as Ace Blood walked past her table. She was sitting with Rojjetta and the Carrow twins. Noah Runcorn and his dedicated follower Alaska Nebraska instead took Study of Ancient Runes, a subject Candy Vandy found boring.
"Once again, two students received an Owl on the last essay I assigned to you all." Professor Blood said, nerves in his voice. They were all used to it. "Candy Vandy and Pinky. Excellent work, girls."
Candy Vandy smiled as he returned the essays back, and shot a death glare at Pinky, who was being congratulated by her friends. Rojjetta and the Carrow twins smiled. They had all done well, too. Some Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors had failed, though. But it's alright. The school needed more Filths and Hagrids.
"Now, onto the next topic, who can-" Professor Blood was quickly cut off as a pixie appeared out of thin air and dropped on his desk, dead. It looked grey, wet, and bloated. Like it had drowned. Professor Ace Blood froze up.
"Who did this?" He asked. "WHO DID THIS!?"
He looked around. None of the students had their wands out. They all looked equally confused. Suddenly, more pixie bodies, all in the same state, began to rain from the ceiling. A Ravenclaw girl screamed as one dropped in her hair.
"You know what? Class dismissed!" Professor Blood cried.
Candy Vandy looked around the small classroom, towards a large flat piece of silver amongst many other pieces of noble metals. There, for a few seconds, she saw the face of Sean Blood grinning wickedly at the chaos, before he saw her looking and vanished. The students began to run as Professor Blood tried using several spells to stop the nightmarish rain. Candy Vandy pushed her way through the small crowd and out into the corridor. She saw him in the distance, Sean Blood, floating through a wall into a boy's bathroom.
"Sean Blood! Wait!"
She ran in, not caring about any one else in there. It appeared empty.
Sean Blood was hovering in the middle of the rows of stalls, their wood dark against the aged white tiles.
"What?" He asked, looking down at her.
"What was that about?"
"I don't know what you're talking about." He said, smug.
"What? You think I'm going to run to Dumbledore and tell on you? Fuck off! That's Huffletard talk. I just want to know, why? Because I have heard things around here, like some of his stuff was going missing at first and then the water turning into blood around him."
He grinned. "The pixies were my best prank yet."
"Does he even know you're here?"
"Not many people do." He said. "Only a few have seen me, and only you I have talked to. I doubt he knows I am here, though. He may have heard the rumours…"
"Aren't you worried about getting into trouble?" Candy Vandy asked, lighting up a cigarette.
"I'm dead. I don't care."
"So, why did you come here? To haunt him?"
"Perhaps. That, and I do like exploring this castle. There's this one room filled to the brim of old junk. I once found a-"
"Yeah." Candy Vandy said, cutting him off. "Look, why do you haunt your uncle or whatever?"
"He is my uncle. And I don't have to explain myself to you." He said, and turned to float through a wall."
"I didn't imply you had to. Wait! Just, please tell me so I can understand."
Sean Blood turned to face her. "Because he ran."
Before Candy Vandy could reply, he had vanished through the stone wall of the bathroom. She walked out of the boys' bathroom and towards the Alchemy classroom. Professor Blood had been able to stop the monsoon of dead pixies and had enchanted a broom to sweep the tiny bodies up into a trash bin, now filled to the brim of tiny dead creatures. Candy Vandy would have to write a poem about that memorable sight some time soon.
"My books?"
"I believe your friends took them." He said, with a small fake smile.
"Any idea who did this?"
"Peeves, probably," he said, referring to the mischievous ghost. Candy Vandy left the room without another word. Rojjetta was outside.
"There you are!" She said, waving her hands wildly. She was holding Candy Vandy's bag. "Girl, I've been looking all over for you." The two began to walk to the Great Hall for lunch.
"Do you know a 'Sean Blood'?" Candy Vandy asked.
Rojjetta began to think. "Yeah. Yeah, I think the name is familiar. He was Professor Ace's kid, right?"
"Nephew."
"Nephew! Of course. My mother's cousin's nephew's wife's Italian aunt's daughter married Connor Blood. Sean is the middle child, I think. Um, didn't they all…die?"
"They died in the bridge collapse." Candy Vandy whispered.
"Yeah, it was done by the few remaining death eaters. They blamed Professor Ace Blood for something that happened long ago with the destruction of Voldemort, so they figured to go out with a bang. Apparently the Blood family were traitors or something like that. Ace used to be a death eater."
"That's pretty kawaiiiii," Candy Vandy said, Rojjetta nodding in agreement. "I hate Gryffinfags. But so did Snape. Dumbledore really needs to think of who he's hiring. All the cool teachers are ex-death eaters, so he should hire more of them. Bellatrix would be good for Defence Against The Dark Arts, instead of that smelly homeless werewolf."
"Anyway," Rojjetta said. "Why did you want to know about Sean?"
"He's haunting the castle."
"What? Those are just rumours. Nobody has seen him."
"I have."
"Seriously?!"
"Yes, O-M-G! He's so pretty and full of despair. Is it possible to date a ghost?"
"I don't see why not." Rojjetta said. "But aren't you dating Edward?"
"Why can't a girl have some nookie off the side?"
"Oh, I think that's for lunch."
"Nookie, not gnocchi." Candy Vandy said.
"Ooooh!" Rojjetta said.
"Kawaiiiii!" Candy Vandy cried as they entered the lunch hall, everybody turning to look as they were both looking super hot today.
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Post by Rai Chiller on Aug 27, 2011 3:46:04 GMT -6
Professional review
Today I will be providing a critical analysis of a drug the kids are doing nowadays, known as ETSHTMISKOM. It's a depressant, closely related to alcohol. Only for the genitals
Literary composition: 7/10
So as I picked up the drug from my local bookstore, I asked the clerk was literary composition was. She replied with a simple "get the fuck out" and informed me I was in a liquor store. I scoffed and strangled her with my scarf. Yes, I wear sweaters in August. Fuck you.
After stashing the body in the freezer I took the ETSHTMISKOM to my home and googled literary composition, and I got bored in about 7 seconds.
Author visionization: 9/10
It's clear the maker of this drug wanted people to get fucked up, and it does just that. After I applied the shit to my genitals I saw a light at the end of a very long and goffic tunnel, but as I approached the light, it was blocked by a large shemale with a ponytail and a beard. It crossed its arms and denied me access.
I awoke 9 days later in a dumpster covered in semen and bat feces.
Dope rhythms: MAX
After calling a cab while naked, we listened to California gurlz on the way back to my apartment. It had some sweet rhymes, son. When we got to my apartment I had no money and had to bash the driver's skull in with my Budda statue, which I then realized I had my wallet in my ass. I laughed for a good long while. This drug fucks you up, people.
CONCLUSION: Must buy
If I weren't a rich prick, I would suggest you spend your money elsewhere. But if you're reading this, there's no fucking WAY you don't have disposable income. Help support this blossoming fucktrain by buying as many ETSHTMISKOMs as possible.
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Post by PirateWolf12 on Sept 5, 2011 6:57:45 GMT -6
Hey faithful readers (all four of you <3).
Due to overwhelming exams and assignments, updates will be slow. Please know though that I have all intentions to finish this fic and will do my best to not let it die.
Next updated estimated for possibly next week, depending on how I go with completing my assignments. Sorry it's taking so long.
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Post by PirateWolf12 on Sept 20, 2011 6:51:53 GMT -6
Okay, I have a short break between studying and assignments by the looks of things. I'll try and have it completed in the next couple of days.
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Post by PirateWolf12 on Oct 15, 2011 7:12:26 GMT -6
Chapter 8: Oh! Hark! "Oh, this baby is so tender, I couldn't possibly eat any more!" Candy Vandy cried, her fork in a rare-cooked thigh as she slowly cut the leg from the satayed muggle baby's body. "Oh, wait, yes I can!" "Girl, you better stop. We have Divination now." Rojjetta said. Libby The walked past the table. "Oh my God! Are you eating a baby?! That's so barbaric!" "No," Candy Vandy said. "Those clothes are." "That's our uniform." Libby The said. "So?" Candy Vandy cried. She was wearing bright red boots, a black MCR shirt, and only a tight pair of black underwear for pants. Libby The stormed off as the entire Slytherin table gave her the middle finger. The group of sixth year Slytherins who took Divination, plus a few cooler Ravenclaws and a Hufflepuff, walked off to the class. Noah was talking with said Hufflepuff, Alaska Nebraska. "They're getting close." Rojjetta stated. "A Slytherin shouldn't date outside of their house." Candy Vandy said. "Besides Edward and me. Actually, I don't even think he's even gone to a wizarding school." "A drop out?" Rojjetta asked. "That's so dangerous! You should definitely go for it!" "I so am, girl. I can't wait for our first date! A concert!" ***** After what seemed like a lifetime long march up the spiral staircase to the top of the tower, the group had arrived at the Divination classroom. The room was decorated with thousands of lit candles. All the heavy red drapes were closed. "Alright class," Professor Trelawney said. "Today, we will be gazing into the ghostly abode of the spirit realm with an ancient magical tool that only senior students who have proven themselves can use: The Ouija board! Now, get into groups of around three…" Alaska, Noah, and one of his Slytherin friends, Rooney Nation, sat at one low table, their fingers on the glass. Next to them, Hestia, Flora, and Satanica sat, looking at the board with boredom. Because Rojjetta and Candy Vandy were her favourites, they got to sit at a table for two instead of sharing with any faggy Gryffindors or loner freaks from other the less important houses. "Candy Vandy, I love your black nail polish," Trelawney said. "Did you get it at Hot Topic?" "What's a 'Hot Topic'?" Pinky Rie-Kie asked. Candy Vandy and Rojjetta gave her the finger. "Ten points from Gryffindor." Trelawney said. "Yeah, I did." Candy Vandy gloated. "It's so kawaiiii!" She said. "Isn't it? Anyway," Candy Vandy said. "I want to ask you about a dream I had. It was nightmarish. Ghastly. I woke up screaming and in a sweat." "Did you die?" Trelawney asked, excited. "If only. I was in the show choir. We sang some whorish song about a magazine or something. What could it possibly mean?" "Well," she said. "It depends." "On what?" "On the song. There could be a million different meanings depending on the music piece you performed." "It was a Madonna song." Candy Vandy said, her voice low out of embarrassment. One of the preppy mudblood Gryffindors looked up in excitement. Rooney and Noah looked at each other in confusion. Professor Trelawney screamed in horror. Everybody looked. "Why, that means certain doom! That something bad is coming your way." "Oh, thank goodness." Candy Vandy said with a sigh of relief. "I thought I was becoming a prep. Oh, I should also mention I was dressed in a Victorian outfit." Professor Trelawney screamed loudly once again. "That means love is coming your way!" Candy Vandy thought for a second. "I'm going on a date with someone for the first time to a Good Charlotte concert this weekend." "Good Charlotte are so fine," Professor Trelawney said. "I would ride Joel to the moon and back!" "Kawaiiii," Candy Vandy said, nodding in agreement. "I'll have to think about this. Dreams are mysterious, and conveniently vague." Professor Trelawney said. "Best go join your friend as I tell those useless Gryffintards how to move a glass around." She went to join Rojjetta at their table, a dark wooden low structure with red silk cloth draped over it. Professor Trewlaney had given the room a more gothic makeover. "Last time we were here we got in a fight," Rojjetta said. "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry too," Candy Vandy said, "Let's never fight again!" The two hugged. "Any idea how to use this?" Candy Vandy asked, looking at the board game. She lifted the small glass cup and peered through. "I don't think it's for using, I think it's just for looking through." "Nah. I think you just take this glass and put it on the board. Then, spirits will appear and move it around and have sex with you or something." "Awesome!" Candy Vandy said. "Hey, we should go do some blow after this." Rojjetta put her fingers up in a peace sign, then onto the glass placed on the board. Around them students were giggling as they asked asinine questions about love and shifted the glass around. "Nothing's happening." She said, annoyed. It moved slightly to the left. "That it? Girl, try it with me. Maybe we need more people." Candy Vandy placed her pale, bony fingers onto the glass. Immediately, nearly all of the candles around the room went out. High pitch shrieks of horror and pain could be heard all around from some invisible sources. The other students began to freak out and turned to Candy Vandy and Rojjetta, their fingers still on the glass. Professor Trelawney looked bewildered. Suddenly, Rojjetta and Candy Vandy were pulled forward, their fingers seemingly glued to the glass. They couldn't move, their bodies at the mercy of the invisible spirits. The two screamed as they were thrust forward and backwards to the various letters. Several braver students walked over to see what was happening. The glass darted to the letters, beginning to spell a message from the other world. OH MY CANDY VANDY SWEET CANDY VANDY HOW I LOVE TO LOVE CANDY VANDY - THE ONE OUR ONE MY SAVIOUR YOUR SAVIOUR DELIVER US PEACE AND LET US REST - SWEET CANDY VANDY MY LOVE OUR LOVE ONE LOVE CANDY -SAVE US AND - DEFEAT CONQUER AND FREE US AND FREE YOURSELF - SWEET CANDY VANDY HOW WE LOVE TO LOVE SAVIOUR CANDY VANDY LOVE US SO GOOD DELIVER US FROM EVIL PURE - PLEASE SAVE ME PLEASE SAVE ME - I KNOW YOU THREW ME OFF THE TOWER CANDY VANDY - CANDY VANDY THE ONE THE CHOSEN. The candles flickered, back alive. Candy Vandy and Rojjetta were thrown back, Rojjetta looking mortified. The other students were terrified, a girl silently sobbing. "Is this going to be on the Finals?" Noah asked, looking at the shocked Professor Trelawney. "Oh, God!" Candy Vandy cried. "Even evil spirits want to screw me!" She sobbed, and ran out of the classroom. "Candy Vandy!" Rojjetta cried. "Why you wait just a minute!" But she didn't, instead running down the spiral staircase to the base of the tower. She didn't know where she was going. She was terrified, sobbing. It sucked to be her, to be so beautiful, so gifted. If only she could be painfully mediocre, like Harry Potter. She ran past a confused professor, a couple of truanting fourth years, a ghost whose body felt like ice when she rudely darted through it, and past countless paintings that looked on in amusement. It was only when she felt the warm sun on her face that she realised where she had been going, the old courtyard. The clock towering over her chimed, shaking the area. Recess. She had to get away, from the students. From everything. Ouija boards don't work like that. She knew it, her peers knew it, and her professor knew it. Jesus, what did they want from her? She was still deep in thought when she found herself at the outskirts of the Forbidden Forest. "Edward!" She cried. "Edward, please! I need your help!" He didn't appear. "Edward!" "Candy Vandy?" A deep voice called "Oh, shit." "Candy Vandy! What are you doing here?" "Nothing, Hagrid." "Who's Edward?" "My…flying black car." "Going to sneak off and listen to some MCR?" "What?" Candy Vandy asked, disgusted that some poser knew who MCR was. "I may be a Hogwarts student, but I am also a Satanist!" "Go fuck yourself, poser bitch." Candy Vandy cried, and walked off into the forest, ignoring Hagrid's cries of warning. She knew what was in here: Edward. And dangerous monsters. But mainly Edward! "Candy Vandy," he said. He was as gothic and gorgeous as ever! His dry yellow eyes glowed in the gloomy woods, darkening as a thunder storm began to approach in the distance, a cool breeze flowing through the forest. "Edward," she said. "I need your help." "Of course." "Can we go somewhere else?" "Of course," he repeated, and smiled. She looked around, wondering what the quickest path to Hogsmeade would be. "You're thinking of walking?" He said. "I don't have my broom handy." He stepped aside, and she saw it. Draco's car, cleaned and apparently still in the great condition Draco kept it in. She felt like sobbing for what she had done. Sure, she didn't really care that she killed Draco and framed his death in a way that would emotionally destroy his family for years to come. But haunting her? How horribly cliché. "You're crying…" "THANKS, COUNT OBVIOUS." Candy Vandy screamed. "Sorry. Let's..let's go find a café or something." The car still flew well. Edward sat silent on the journey as Candy Vandy steered. Like with most female drivers, the car trip was an event, and had either one not been a vampire and magical, they'd have surely been killed. The town wasn't that packed. The approaching storm had kept most inside, and the few walking around ignored the two, other than a quick glance at Candy Vandy, for she was totally hot. "How about here?" Edward asked, motioning to a small café, a sign out front reading Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop. Candy Vandy had never been before, and she wanted to sit down and talk. "Sure." ***** Candy Vandy didn't believe in regret, until now. The shop was vile. It made her sick to her stomach. It was pink. Bright pink. It looked like the Valentines Day cards she used to burn for the fun of it. "Are you alright?" Edward asked, worried at her frazzled appearance. "I may be infected." She said, shaking. "What?" "Hi, you two!" A perky blonde waitress cried. "Oh, you both look soooooo hawt!" She cried. "Quick question," Candy Vandy said. "You were a Hufflepuff, weren't you." "Like, yeah!" "Mmm. Thought so. I'll take a cup of blood, and something to cover my eyes with so as not to see this place." "Ummm…" "It'll be your blood in a minute if you don't hurry!" The waitress turned and hurried off to the kitchen. The two sat at a table further away from the few other customers and the scented candles, at a dark table in the corner. A cherub, a baby-like flying magical creature, flew over them. Candy Vandy remained quiet, withdrawn. She only stared at Edward, who stared back, just as silent. It wasn't the awkward silence with others she knew, no. She could sit back and enjoy her thoughts when she was with Edward in comfort. "I feel like a tightrope walker." She said. "What?" "This isn't how I wanted our first date to go." "I'm with you. That's good enough." "No. It really isn't. I pictured a concert, a party. Drugs, alcohol. Not… this kind of place." "It's fine." "It's putrid. Faggy. I want to kill everybody here." "What's wrong?" "Do you ever feel guilt? I don't. But I'm being haunted by Draco, and others. Let me explain, I used an ouija board today. Draco was there. And others… I think something's coming, something bad. I don't know what to do, and I feel utterly powerless to stop it. I've never felt that before. This overwhelming sense of dread." "What will you do?" "I thought you would help." "I can't control your fate." Candy Vandy thought for a moment, Edward patiently waiting. "I don't think we're ever going to get our drinks." "Candy Vandy." He said. She sighed. "I think I have to make atonement for Draco. Or a séance. Something to get rid of him. Send him to hell, I don't care." "Can you do it?" "I have my coven. They'll help. I have read up on this stuff before." "What about your future?" "I'll wait. And accept it with open fangs. But Edward, I also keep having dreams. Horrible, nightmares. Nothing of this world." "I can't help you there." "No," she said. "But you've been enough. Just letting me rant. Through my life, I've never been able to talk to anyone about these kinds of things. But here you are. Thank you." She got up from her chair. "You pay." "Where are you going?" "I have to pick up items for a mother fucking séance. And pick out something cute for our concert date! You take the car, Sweets." She turned and walked off, giving the finger to a flying golden cherub that was holding a pink teapot. It dropped it in shock and Candy Vandy laughed in delight as she opened the café's door and walked into the pouring rain.
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Post by PirateWolf12 on Dec 12, 2011 0:05:24 GMT -6
...Is anybody even still reading this? Well you better be, I plan on working on it again soon.
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