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Post by andaeeee on May 22, 2009 14:32:40 GMT -6
C!
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Post by slayer22 on May 22, 2009 16:26:53 GMT -6
C
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Post by Veta on May 24, 2009 12:54:39 GMT -6
B.
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Post by Veta on May 29, 2009 18:16:08 GMT -6
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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Basil
New Survivor
Posts: 47
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Post by Basil on May 30, 2009 15:29:35 GMT -6
You chose...B! Have Mike do a barrel roll or some nonsense like that...I think such silly things will from now on be omitted.
Suddenly, a poorly recorded voice spat out the following nonsensical trash:
"DO A BARREL ROLL!"
Mike, reacting instantly, leaped into the air and did a twisting turning motion, effectively accomplishing what could be called a barrel roll. He thus avoided Star Wolf's shot and destroyed him, saving the Lilat system from the evil clutches of...
...wait what?
Hum, let's forget about this silliness eh?
So the group valiantly decided to abandon Ada to her fate and returned to the relative safety of the security room and Otis' warm presence.
"Huh, so ye're back then? Done looking for that female?"
As it was a well-known and widely accepted fact that nobody gave a shit about Otis and his antics, everyone ignored him. And so, our brave little group of manly and womanly heroes told each other their separate stories. There was much exaggeration and much rejoicing as Josh slobbered over Jill's physique (she had taken her helmet off, revealing a pretty face, and a malfunctioning hearing aid, which explained her overly loud voice), and Mike took an immediate liking to Basil.
"Ya fucking coward, you hid in a dustbin when you encountered us!", he said with a jovial bearing of teeth which could be interpreted as a smile if you were slightly blind or naïve. Or a born again Christian.
It also turned out that both Jill and Cindy were tough...damn, what's that biscuit's name again? You know, that thing with chocolate chips in it? No? Ah well, we'll just say they were tough muffins.
Muffins aren't biscuits? Damn you lot are picky! Take your bloody biscuits back to wherever they came from! I'm writing this god darn story!
Anyway, there was a lot of pleasant chitty chatting until someone looked at the monitor room.
One screen seemed to show a bunch of strange individuals dressed in animal costumes and doing unspeakable things to a young lady. Another screen showed some lad dressed up like a LARPer on steroids entering the Leisure Park, and finally, one of them showed two Japanese tourists hiding in a bookshop.
There was some lively discussion as to what they should do: rescue the girl like in the movies? Fight against racism and rescue the two Japanese tourists? Or go poke the elf boy with a stick to see if he was high on crack?
The time has come for you to vote...choose wisely!
A-Rescue the girl from those fursuit clad abominations!
B-Poke the elf with a stick!
C-Die!
D-Rescue those Japanese tourists!
If you pick A or D, you will have to pick who goes:
1-Mike, Basil and Josh.
2-Veta, Cindy and Mike.
3-Cindy, Jill and Josh.
Also, Shark is currently out cold due to alcohol abuse...so I will refer to chance to decide his fate. As I'm too tight-fisted to buy dice, I will write a series of numbers down on a sheet of paper, close my eyes and jab my finger at one of them. If the number I picked is even, Shark will rise and stumble unsteadily off to battle, if I pick an uneven number, he will continue to snore away on the floor of the security room.
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Post by Veta on May 30, 2009 15:38:51 GMT -6
A 2.
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Post by slayer22 on May 30, 2009 21:52:28 GMT -6
"So the group valiantly decided to abandon Ada to her fate and returned to the relative safety of the security room and Otis' warm presence"
You dick........
A2
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Post by Song Nai on May 31, 2009 15:48:34 GMT -6
A 2
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Post by Shark on Jun 3, 2009 3:19:12 GMT -6
B you dicks xD Also, Shark the alcoholic being outcold was a lulzy move. I commend you
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Basil
New Survivor
Posts: 47
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Post by Basil on Jun 4, 2009 6:02:34 GMT -6
Yesterday I used my fool proof and bomb proof technique to determine wether or not Shark should regain consciousness. The result I got was 5, so Shark will remain unconscious and snoring on the floor of the security room, temporarily depriving our heroes of his alcoholic battle prowess. Once he wakes up, which will be after the group who went out to bash the fursuit abominations comes back, I will once again resort to my fool proof technique to determine wether or not his combat abilities will be affected by a godawful hangover.
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Post by Shark on Jun 5, 2009 14:09:53 GMT -6
There is faggotry afoot None-the-less. UPDATE!!!!
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Post by Veta on Jun 5, 2009 14:11:05 GMT -6
UPDATE!!!!
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Post by Song Nai on Jun 6, 2009 0:46:40 GMT -6
For all that is good and holy, UPDATE!
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Basil
New Survivor
Posts: 47
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Post by Basil on Jun 6, 2009 5:29:55 GMT -6
You chose...A! Go rescue that girl from the fursuit clad weirdos, and you also decided to send Mike, Veta and Cindy to do it. Shark remains comatose on the floor of the security room.
"Let'th go rethcue that woman!", lisped Cindy in a determined voice. People giggled quietly behind her as she spoke. Veta, who had been eyeing her with interest for a while, sidled up to her like a perverted, sombrero-wearing crab and said, with a wave of his ridiculously girly hair.
"-I. Will come with you, senorita."
Cindy stepped cautiously away from him and looked at him as if he had just told her he had herpes, leprosy and syphilis. Mike stepped up, carrying two M4 rifles he had found God knows where.
"-I'll come with ya. Those things won't stand up to some good old M4 bullets in the crotch!"
Veta scowled slightly at having his potentially romantic sally ruined by the interloping Mike, but quickly relented when he saw how well Mike handled the weapons...he had no desire to get a hole blown in his stomach.
The trio left the security room and many brave deeds were done. Mike blew many undead to pieces with savage whoops and overwhelming firepower and Cindy bravely avoided fighting any of them. Veta was also bravely stabbed and poked a few zombies in the back, running away yelping when one turned around and tried to get him.
After an arduous, corpse-strewn voyage to Paradise Plaza, which was filled with the awful, blasphemous sounds of...yiffing.
Our three heroes stared in horror as a large group of fursuit-wearing psychos pawed and molested a weeping young woman, who seemed well beyond breaking point. A man wearing a ridiculous bear suit and carrying a nasty and very sharp sword spoke up, silencing the congregation. He was obviously their leader.
"-My dear furry friends. Too long have we been oppressed and forced to skulk the darkest, slimiest corners of the internet! Now, all our enemies have been contaminated by their evil and turned into ugly, smelly, bitey shuffling undead...thingies..."
The bear manthing did a few hand gestures that clearly expressed his disgust...and also the fact that he was a flaming homosexual.
"Anyway! It is now time for us to carry out the prophecy of the True Fur! We will cleanse this earth and return it to its true owners...the Furries!!"
His speech ended and was met with a monstrous clamour of psychotic barking, howling, grunting and whatever other animal noises people who dress up in fursuits try to imitate and fail pathetically.
"-Fuck me in the beard...those guys are real nutjobs...", said Mike, adjusting his sunglasses and patting his M4, "what should we do?"
What should they do? You decide!
A-Go in and kill 'em all!
B-Run away!
C-Die!
E-Chuck Veta into them to create a diversion while Mike and Cindy rescue the damsel in distress!
F-Offer to trade Veta for the young woman!
G-Lay into them using Veta as a human shield!
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Post by Song Nai on Jun 6, 2009 9:02:49 GMT -6
A
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Post by slayer22 on Jun 6, 2009 13:20:28 GMT -6
C......I wana see if the woman the MCs or the Furries will die....
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Post by pokemon1458 on Jun 6, 2009 13:41:49 GMT -6
A
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Post by Veta on Jun 6, 2009 13:56:55 GMT -6
E or A.
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Post by Kong The Jester on Jun 6, 2009 19:24:51 GMT -6
A
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Basil
New Survivor
Posts: 47
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Post by Basil on Jun 7, 2009 10:12:41 GMT -6
You chose...A! KILL 'EM ALL!
After about ten minutes of intense strategic thinking and planning between Mike and Cindy, Veta lost patience.
What the fuck is this? We don't need no planning! We got the guns, we got the guts, we got mah sombrero and mah style...let's take 'em!!
He stood up from behind their hiding place and brandished the blunt kitchen knife he had been using as a convenient back scratcher and stabber and yelled, much to Mike and Cindy's horror:
"CHARGE! KILL ALL ESOS HIJOS DE PUTAS!!"
He charged crazily at the fursuit-wearing creature things. Mike and Cindy were forced to follow lest Veta got hurt beyond recovery (not that Mike cared much, Veta was beginning to annoy him).
Veta charged up to the closest furry and stopped, uncertain. The furry approached him threateningly, a nasty cleaver with pink fluffy bits on it in his hand/paw/thing.
"Errr...", mumbled Veta, his bravado gone.
Luckily, God has a soft spot for drunkards and fools, and Veta was struck by inspiration.
"Look! A box full of Sonic and Disney porn!"
As the fursuit maniac looked away, Veta promptly stuck his knife through his opponent's kidney, half shouting and half yelping in savage victory.
Mike was mowing down anything that came within shooting distance. Old ladies, zombies, cats, dogs, birds and furries fell under a hail of M4 bullets.
Cindy was busily stabbing the furries in the eye with her high heels.
Despite all this glorious violence and heroic back-stabbing, our heroes were still desperately outnumbered by the furry hordes. Seeing that the boat was sinking, Veta promptly did the first thing a brave man will do when outnumbered and outgunned: run away.
"-You bastard!", snarled Mike. But before he could shoot the miscreant for his troubles, he suddenly spotted a window of opportunity...the girl was left unattended!
Gunning down two furries and an inconveniently placed child, Mike charged through the furry mass and grabbed the woman before charging back to safety.
He and Cindy then ran after Veta and hid under a bed in a furniture store, waiting for the furries to give up. As fuelled by rage and Furpression as they were, the fursuit lovers decided to give up after a good five seconds of searching, after all, they had a whole box of Bugs Bunny erotica to go through today...serious business.
After emerging from under the bed, Mike turned to the young woman he had just rescued and saw she looked slightly Asian.
"Hey there, what's your name?", he said, giving her his best winning smile.
"-I'm Ada, and why did you take me away from these people? They were nice!"
DUN DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN!
Ada is a raging furfag?! What should our heroes do???
A-Kill her!
B-Take her back to the security room, but tie her up first.
C-Tie her up and leave her to die.
D-Sacrifice Veta to appease the Gods of the Mall and save Ada's soul from eternal damnation!
E-Go see the LARPer in Leisure Park, maybe he has some magic mushrooms or mystical white powder that can cure furriness.
If you choose A, choose one of the following options:
1-With fire! 2-With acid! 3-With a bullet to the noggin!
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Post by Veta on Jun 7, 2009 10:17:37 GMT -6
E
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Post by andaeeee on Jun 7, 2009 10:22:40 GMT -6
D!
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Post by Shark on Jun 7, 2009 10:25:09 GMT -6
D
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Post by Veta on Jun 7, 2009 13:03:44 GMT -6
>_>
*Modify voates*
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Post by supermegakick on Jun 7, 2009 14:45:43 GMT -6
D!
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Post by slayer22 on Jun 7, 2009 15:01:58 GMT -6
D
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Post by praetorian on Jun 8, 2009 8:50:00 GMT -6
D.
Signed. Sealed. Delivered.
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Post by Song Nai on Jun 8, 2009 18:19:15 GMT -6
B
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Basil
New Survivor
Posts: 47
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Post by Basil on Feb 18, 2010 12:22:49 GMT -6
HOLY ROCKING SHIT SAUCE! WE'RE BACK AFTER MONTHS OF ABSENCE!!
Anyway, you chose...D! Sacrifice Veta to the mall Gods in order to save Ada from furfaggotry.
Mike, after recovering from the initial shock of the horrific discovery, quickly gathered his wits and came up with the best, most rational solution to the situation.
"There is only one way we can cure her", he said.
"-I can-a operate her, caballeros!", said Veta in a voice too enthusiastic to be interpreted as normal and not creepy.
"-We'll have to sacrifice someone to the mall Gods, great overlords of this paradise of shallow materialism and consumerism!", said Mike.
"-Who'th going to get thacrifithed?", said Cindy with a tinge of worry.
Mike took out two bits of straw from his pocket and presented them to his two companions.
"-Who draws the shortest will be sacrificed!"
"-But there are only two...", said Cindy, looking uncertainly at the two straws Mike held in his sweaty hand.
"-Now, now, baby", said Mike diplomatically, "it would be unfair to include myself in this contest seeing that I made the straws."
Cindy and Veta were statisfied by Mike's perfectly reasonable explanation, and both drew a straw. Veta drew the short one.
"-Wanna swap, senorita?", he said in a weak voice.
"-We're all genuinely sorry about this, Veta, but you must die", said Mike, grabbing a wooden stake that lay conveniently nearby, "urbi et orbi et habeas corpus."
As Mike was about to brutally sacrifice Veta in the most pagan of ways, the security room was in a much calmer state.
"Get the fuck off me you fucking cheap shit motherfucker peanut dick!!", said Jill with a laugh before playfully kicking Josh in the testicles and beating him up on the floor.
Basil the Brave rolled his eyes at this overly brutal display before focusing his attention on Otis, the portly janitor, who was busy telling some anecdotes about his fascinating existence as a mall janitor.
"-So that was how I ended up married to Georgetta", he said with a sage nod. Basil blinked and struggled to remember who Georgetta was and why she was associated in his mind with herrings.
"-Uuuhhhh, ye fugging whores", mumbled a prostrate form on the floor, who turned out to none other than Shark. Rubbing his head, stumbling like a one-legged pirate midget and swearing colourfully, he lurched about.
"Wurr the fugging lavatory?", he slurred.
"-Over there", said Basil, indicating the toilet. Shark conscientiously went in the opposite direction and discharged the contents of his stomach into a flowerpot, the plant itself turning black and dying within minutes despite the fact it was a fake made out of plastic.
"Uuuuhuhuhhhuuh I'm dyin'", yelped Shark as he rolled about on the floor in agony, "need booze!!"
"-Hey guys, I saw something on the monitors", said Frank West, who had up till then not been mentioned a single time in this CYOA and had only been put here out of plot convenience, "and I covered wars ya know."
"-Hmmm", said Basil as he looked at the monitor Frank had shown. The two Japanese tourists were still in the book store, only a red-headed woman had joined them.
"-Hmmmm", said Jill, violently shoving Basil out of the way.
"-Oh yeah baby, say that again", said Josh, trailing Jill like an emotionally disturbed glue gun. Jill promptly proceeded to pound his manhood with her foot.
"-Hmm, we should help these two Japanese people and that mystery red head!", said Frank.
"-I'll...err...help from here", said Basil, "emotional support."
"-You fucking British piece of wank coward shit fuck balls", said Jill, as she facepainted the floor with Josh.
Holy Jeebus! What shall they do?
Mike & Co:
A-kill Veta, it will appease the Gods and save Ada from eternal damnation and furry sodomy.
B-DIE!
C-have something fortuitous happen to fortuitously save Veta's life and thwart Mike's attempts at quenching his thirst for evil Communist raghead Mexican blood.
The Security Room Goons:
A-rescue the Japs! (+50% karma and will increase their skill at playing ping pong with a mime).
B-DIE!
C-git sum good ole fashioned Cola un chickenz! (will increase their chance of surviving getting crushed by a piano by 10%)
D-rescue a person named Rai (will give them the "BSAAT Super Duper Agent who Specialises in Killing Caterpillar Bats achievement")
E-VIVA LAS VEGAS!
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Post by Traveling Riverside Roj on Feb 18, 2010 17:40:51 GMT -6
C!
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